❤️ 14th July 2015 - Junkettes

I've noticed some recent surge in my notoriety. So let's share, the negativety inducing, resulting in my drug abusing, Junkettes!

Thursday 9th July, midnight, 163 Bus from Morden

Lad, aged 16-18, not drunk but upon realising I had caught him staring at me, promptly pretended to be. I love staring a weak Junkette out. Makes them real uncomfortable.

Thursday 9th July, midnight, Oakway SW20

Couple on other side of road. Female 'She's the one with' whispers 'coke'

Me 'COKE' 

Me 'Crack actually'

Thursday 9th July, midnight, Southway SW20

I so happen to gaze on these arseholes from my bedroom window. Always with a bottle of wine open on the table. Therefore clearly alcoholics. But alcohol is legal so they're clearly allowed to cast judgement on me. Someone who self mediates their ADHD. They came out to have a good stare whilst I burned a splif.

I gave them a Jay special one finger salute. Queue the lady walking right to the end of the garden and the obese man pretending to look next door 

Here's their daughters. I'm someone's daughter too. So I can't see a problem in this. Will definitely get them too 

Alcohol addicts who think they have some moral high ground over a stimulant addict

See you on the park bench arseholes 

❤️ 21st July 2015 - Journal

Not much process. My family have been over from Ireland and I've taken my georgous 10 year old cousin Science Museum, Natural History Museum, park, shop for magazines and feeding my rabbits.

She already has two cats and two dogs. 'Plllllllur Eaaaasssseeee mummy!'

'Please can I get some bunnies'

'Rabbits are the only pet I really wanted'

She's georgous, and copies me to high heaven.

I have Big Mac. She does. I have diet coke. She does. I have tattoo. She wants the magazine with temporary tattoos.

Of course, I had to be crude 

Science Museum

 

Natural History

I've decided to tell you a little more about me. I'll pretend I'm popular and gave loads of questions posted. Although I'm a junkie this may surprise you

1) I love animals. So far had 3 cats and 3 rabbits. Want to rescue battery hens. Would love a little dog 

2) favourite colour... PINK. My bedroom will be hot pink and aqua.

3) vital stats 32D - 28 - 32

Clothes UK 6-8 (USA 2-4)

Height 5'6 or 168cm

Weight 119lbs or 53.9kgs

Hair Long and blonde

Eyes Green

Medium tans easily skin tone 

Shoes 5

4) Hobbies. Tarot reading. Crystal guidance using pendulums. Seeing dead people. Nan S, Tsega my Bengal and Cyran my bunny. Caring for alive pets.

5) First car. Mini Mayfair Jet Black. E758 ELW

6) Bought flat aged 24.... Moved out of home 25

7) Bought house aged 32

8) travelled to Minorca, Majorca, Tenerife, Furteventure, Spain (Costa Brava, Costa Dorada, Costa Del Sol) Greece (Rhodes, Cyprus, Corfu, Crete), Turkey (Bodrom, Mamaris), Portugal, Catalan, France, Germany, Prague, Ireland, Florida, Dominican Republic

9) Favourite smells Lemon, coco butter

10) First aider 

11) Health and Safety qualified 

12) Counselling qualified 

13) CRB (police check) countersignatory 

14) alcoholic drink - Kopperberg

15) views, believe in karma, so try not to hurt others. I'm aware my using does.

16) Prefer Chelsea Football Club

17) music - hip hop! From Biggie, snoop, 2 pac, dre, 50, Eminem, game, terror squad, lil Wayne.... Rihanna

18) wear.. Tiny skirts and vest tops. Couldn't give a shit bout my tracks and scars

19) hopes - to tell the nation my side of the story some day. Book of my life published. Decent job. Do more tarot.

20) four tattoos. A mother and daughter symbol on the left side of tummy. A new beginnings symbol on my left wrist. A tattoo of my dead cat on my left forearm and a karma symbol above the new beginnings one

21) three holes in my left ear, two in right.

Pierced belly button. Pierced labret (under lip)

22) TV, Family Guy, documentaries

23) secret talent, rapping!

 

❤️ 21st July 2015 - A Junkette

Hello Pot, this is kettle, you're black

Another alcoholic Junkette who think they are better than a druggie who self medicates her ADHD

❤️ 23rd July 2015 - Journal

I'm going to start writing an autobiography in this blog. I'll use previous Once Upon a Time posts for some of it.

Although I am a terrible junkie, my life couldn't be further removed from society's ideologies and stereo types of a intravenous drug user.

Middle class family. Parents still together. House in a posh part of London worth over £800,000 ($1,200,000 or €1,200,000).

Convent school educated. GCSEs and A Levels.

Always worked (bar my recent sick leave), driving and owning a car at 17. 

Bought my flat aged 24, house aged 32.

I've hid my drug addiction for years, getting badly hooked on crack and heroin aged 25. By 27 to 28 I was a daily user spending up to £100 per day.

Aged 28 I adopted two bengal cats. One was the runt who no one else wanted. He hadn't had injections or his microchip, and only cost £100. £170 of you include the injections and chip. A second show quality one followed at £550, who I discovered, had been abused by a large man.

Till today he cowers at the sight of a tall male stranger, and still flinches when I go to pet him on occasions.

Bunnies followed... They're house bunnies. Although now it's summer they have a new outside hutch. They'll return to the conservatory in the autumn.

I'm well travelled. Have abseiled, bungee jumped, paraglide, scuba dived, snorkelled, kayaking, karate champion.

Volunteered for charities, raised money for charities, do cheap tarot reading, use crystals.

Been bullied for sticky out ears. Once pinned back I got acne. Then I got fat aged 11.

Lost weight at 18, and puppy fat at 21.

At school I'd regularly finish my work, and then disrupt the whole class. At college I discovered I was dyslexic. Proving an answer as to why at school I was top set for Maths and Science and bottom for English.

Then my hyperactivity was given the label of ADHD. IQ tests revealed an IQ of 150 and showed I was ambidextrous.

Worked in McDonald's, market research, office temp, bar tender, before starting a career in education aged 21.

By 27 I was creating and managing new projects, and soon elevated (without the pay nor title) to project manager across college with my procedures and policies being implemented college wide.

One two awards for my work and managed it well, including the 60% increase in work load.

Change of management and work load increasing to a 110% increase marked my down fall.

I also dealt with a stressful house move. My shared ownership flat had never been issued with the correct documents upon my 100% purchase.

My ADHD encompasses an OCD for perfectionism. I had gone from perfect job and perfect flat (bar the noise from over crowding in the flat above) to working for a manager I could not please no matter what I did and a house which required serious renovating. 

This is when I discovered ethylphenidate and it's calming effect on me. It was highly caustic and if sniffed, it felt like you blew chunks of your nose out the following day, so I soon progressed to rectal administration. 

Around 10 months after discovering this drug, off sick from work and bored I decided to try intravenous use. This was due to me wanting to try diamorphine intravenously.

I still remember that day like it was yesterday. The bitter taste in the back of my throat. The explosion in my head seconds latter as it hit my brain.

Within 3 months I was no longer using rectally and could not get up in the morning without jabbing a needle into my vein.

I went from horrendously groggy and barely conscience to alert, awake and raring to go. Instantaneously like flicking a switch.

In 4 months I had disintegrated to the point of being skeletal.

Two detoxes, a ban on ethylphenidate and still steadying my feet due to me falling off the wagon and here I am.

I hope you enjoy my future posts!

I must finish my last Once Upon a Time too.

Love the UKs most famous junkie

Jay x

❤️ February 2014 - Once Upon a Time - The First Hit

December 2013 PROLOGUE 

I was at the ADHD clinic waiting to see Professor Nut. Already elevated to Godly status due to the fact he was the drugs advisor for parliament only to be kicked out for stating to a load of coke heads and alcoholics, that ecstasy was less detrimental to society than alcohol. He was spot on of course. And promptly fired.

He specialised in people with ADHD and addiction. Around 70% of unmedicated adults with ADHD self medicated. Me included.

Impatient as always I took to resticking the crocked posters in the waiting room. My ADHD comprises of an OCD for perfectionism. Crocked posters really drive me mad. I had arrived ridiculously early, as my ADHD also mad me prone to lateness. Something my OCD despised.

Then came in another client. Busy like a Tasmanian Devil, he rushed in.

'Sorry I'm late, I missed the train, then the bus and ended up having to walk. I'm bloody knackered darling'

In front of me stood a ripped male, hyper and camp as could be.

'You alright darling' he said to me not pausing for a breath.

'Yes, do you have ADHD? I have ADHD too. You take drugs? I self medicate with stimulants'

I fired my reply with just as much hyper enthusiasm.

'Yeah that's why I'm here. I'm a bit naughty with Tina'

'Me too, only crack'

The younger boy sat with his parents who had ADD, that's ADHD without the hyperness sat amazed at the two crazy people fighting to speak over each other.

'I smoke crack and heroin'

'I used IV... Inject'

'Really?' He was the epitome of health. I was shocked a needle junkie could look so good. Clearly it didn't trap him like society would have you believe.

Our 15 minute conversation seemed like 3, time flew and soon I was back out with a script for 56mg of concerta. 

I waited for M*** and we left together. Swapping mobiles and Facebook details I joined him in the HIV clinic where he collected meds for his partner. We said our goodbyes and parted.

January 2014

Knowing M*** used intravenously and was very healthy had played on my mind for some time. I always wanted to see what the fuss was over heroin IV so decided to try it. I found a website called Exchange selling needles, syringes, disposable bins, and more so placed an order.

I ordered 5 pink syringes, 5 small 30g yellow needles and 5 MicroBD 32g diabetic needles. A bin, alcohol wipes, vitamin C over citric as my research said this was less damaging, cookers and these amazing filters.

I waited for N to leave on evening and cooked up some B using memory from documentarys and films. I had researched on how to give an injection and easily flagged a vein. I pushed plunge and... ... ... Nothing. Nothing special anyway. I wasn't clucking anymore but there was no amazing rush.

A few days later I tried again with no success. The following day, a new batch of brown, and I tried again. I flagged a vein and pushed the plunger. This time a funny taste hit the back of my mouth within 5 seconds and 5 more and it hit me.

Fuck fuck fuck. I know knew its allure. In my chest this huge ball of pleasure, feeling like an orgasm, radiated from the centre, to my toes, fingers and head. It took my breath away. 10 seconds of the most amazing feeling. 

After the rush of euphoria the nod followed. Unable to keep my eyes open my head bobbed up and down whilst I experienced the most amazing gouch since I had first used when I was opiate naive.

By the time N returned I was still wrapped in its warm hug, but not off my face. For a change there was no anger at his lateness.

Thankfully brown isn't my poison. I'd still be fighting otherwise. But I was still using ethylphenidate rectally and often up all night.

One night whilst N slept in my room, curiosity took over rational thinking. 'I wonder what ethylphenidate feels like injected?' I pondered in the front bedroom resembling a junk room. Dawn was rising and I just turned the light off. My night had been spent tidying and arranging, the regular speed freaks behaviours.

I poured some of the white powder into a cooker and added water. It all dissolved meaning no need for a filter. I sucked it up, using a needle as I was still very cautious back then, and just like the films, flicked out the air bubbles.

I flagged and pushed. In 5 seconds I had the most distinctive chemical taste in the back of my mouth and then....

BANG!!!!

My head exploded. I hit a high a million times higher than ever before. A pure, clean buzz. My hands trembled with adrenaline. This was amazing. A calmness erupted in my brain, almost as if I was an oxymoron. My body hyper and my head at peace.

I hid my needles knowing I would be doing that again. Little did I know I would do it until almost dead

❤️ 28th July 2015 - Journal

Sunday and Monday's are my worst days. As I'm dead cert on not giving a dirty piss test Tuesday's, I can't use Saturday, Sunday or Monday. 

Saturday I'm normally still recovering from my Thursday smoke with my bestie girl, her man and my bestie boy N.

This morning I clucked for speed. Although it has devastating results due to my parents having no choice but to continue their detrimental behaviour trying to convince me I'mad, as they don't want to admit they do evil things to me.

I hate my father but if he stood there and said 'Jay, yes I did do those things to you' or even 'you were never mad', I'd give him a second chance.  

My mother would cry when he tormented me. Even when I said I'll stop if the craziness stops, my mother did, he continued. I asked my mother 'one day can we talk honestly about this' and she replied yes.

Without the honesty I'll drift away. I'll still see my mum, but not the rest of them. Ill still spoil P****. Unless I have kids, she's going to inherit my estate. (Ahmmmm my ex-council 3 bed home!! Estate sounds like I'm a Lady in a mansion).

But she'll also get the truth which she'll be required to read prior to receipt of my belongings.

A lot of people, did a lot of sick things to me. Because I am a dirty junkie. But they were never told I have ADHD. That might evoke sympathy.

I had a jumper with ADHD in the style of ADDC the band. It's disappeared so the UK doesn't find out.

If I don't get a chance to tell the truth I'll eventually disappear. Think there's a national campaign to make one person think they're mad. I was locked in the nut house when everyone knew I wasn't mad.

I read the statement my father gave the nut house and this is why I hate him. 

He's ruined my right to a quiet life, my career in education, my reputation. Just to have me locked up in a place that did not do anything to help me at all.

I knew I would be locked away to rot. I'm not really mad. They can't do shit for me. All they did was sedate real crazy people. M****** with dementia, trespassing on the male ward smoking match sticks. G***** who collected fag butts and dribbled on himself. The girl who assaulted me for sleeping with my light on. K**** who's father was a hyena and would eat you to the bone. M*** who walked around in a daze, like she's had too many benzos and was out of it. P**** who was highly strung, anxious and slept in the corridor due to having a light shone on you in the hourly checks.

I smuggled drugs in and let my friend access my online banking to ensure a daily supply was brought to me. 

Fresh pins were hidden in food packets for me. The staff were too busy watching the real crazy people to have the time to check, no problem, J****'s food. They didn't even check my suitcase properly.

When my parents refused to home treat me in front of the doctor and social worker, despite my pleas of abstinence (which due to fear, I would have maintained), I decided my loss of freedom would be used to bang up in peace daily.

I'll never forgive them for that. But a relationship can be rebuilt on honesty.

I'll keep on trying but only the future knows what is in store.

A hopeful Jay x x

❤️ 01st August 2015 - Journal

Well I've been a bad girl this week! Cocaine (powdered), crack and heroin. The cocaine was half sniffed and half injected, heroin one pin (injected) and two splifs. Crack, mostly smoked with a teenie, tiniest piece added to the brown to make a 'snow ball'.

Only a little bit naughty. 

Whilst most of you people reading will think 'Hur, that's terrible, you're still a needle junkie', I think a little emphatic view point may help you not think I am a complete and utter disgusting, drug fiend.

1) As it's been some time since I've use my first drug of choice. And I'm craving if bad. But once I start on ethylphenidate, I can not stop. This is the only part of AA/NA which I can resonate with. 'One hit is never enough'. This is the only drug which I didn't have control over, it controlled me.

2) So to reduce the constant craving to bang up speed I've been using a couple times a week. 

3) Yes I have injected on occasions, BUT I've also been sniffing coke. And the drug hierarchy is as follows 

* Bombing drugs or tablet drugs. Bombing is wrapping powder with a rizla and swallowing

* Sublingual or Cheek. This normally has a higher bioavailability 

* Sniffing 

* Rectal 

* Skin popping - using a needle to just go under the skin, this takes 20-30 minutes 

* Intramuscular - needle into muscle 

* Intravenous - needle into the vein  

4) As my parents made using in the comfort of MY own home, or their fucking house worse than the abuse I receive from the general public, I frequently used outside. This means most my local pubs, fast food restaurants,  park toilet, cemeteries, it goes on, are a trigger for me. 

It's like obese people complaining you can stop drugs or alcohol, but you need food and its everywhere. My using was everywhere. I do wish my parents let me have their house as a safe place to use. When I’m not being hounded I used so much less. Plus, I'd have a lot less triggering areas etched in my mind.

I'll fight these urges for the rest of my life.

I wish my parent stopped tormenting me and helped with my recovery. I needed help, not more chaos. I know I failed two detoxes, but it was like they washed their hands of me. My whole family. They did absolutely no research into addiction. Nor the fact the average addict has 8 attempts at sobriety. No, they dedicated their research into how to make their daughter think she’s mad. 

Add to that, the whole community knowing my problems, which ultimately make things worse. If everyone who tormented me, instead gave £1-5, I could have paid for an ADHD doctor to get my Ritalin, and had money spare for detox or rehab

If you’re on the mobile site I’m aware the drop down doesn’t work. Go to www.thefamousjunkie.blogspot.com for the home page

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#iwillbefamous #thetruth #Itsnotaboutthedrugs @Gemma_Stalked

❤️ 06th July 2015 - Bad Girl

Beats: 

Eminem - Love The Way You Lie 

Lil Wayne - No Flex Zone

Never thought I'd fall so bad

But I can admit

I needed you, 

My very own mum and dad

You Cudda fixed it

Stop shit, stop hits, an epileptic fit

But you switched, I tripped, 

My Life was almost an exit  

Instead my destruction

Entertainment 

For the nation

No hesitation 

I Rose to fame 

Smoking crack cocaine

No shine, no sheen, she's a crack fiend 

This dove,no longer up above

Fucking lean, 

Smoking green and satan's reconvened

She's gone, but she never belonged

She was wrong

Not that strong

Now you have a perfect painted picture 

She's no longer whic' ya

A million miles, you smile, 

It's been a while

Still, there's no way you can reach her

Instead you're forced to remember

Because she's no where

Free from the stares, the despair, 

But who cares, 

No one, no more, 

Say goodbye 

She's no where

Song about needed my mum and dad when they deserted me. Two near fatal drug overdoses. How they were sell outs to the national press. And life without me.

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❤️ 11th August 2015 - Junkette or Pervert?

Well Sunday I went Five Guys in Wimbledon. Bacon, cheese burger, medium fries (shared) and a salted caramel milkshake with whipped cream on top. Cost £27 for two burgers, two shakes and one fries. But boy was it worth it.

I'd go back just for the shakes. Amazing! Want to try peanut butter and banana.

After stuffing me and my bestie, went Spoons and had a couple of Kopperberga. Whilst he was at the bar I noticed an Asian man sitting alone, turning 180 degrees just to look at me.

When I caught him doing this he would give me a broad smile. I noticed he was on his phone. Then I saw the screen and quite clearly a picture of me.

The pervert had been taking pictures of me!!!! I shouted out to Nigel that 'this pervert's just taken pictures of me!'

'He's a pervert! That makes me feel sick'. He came over to the table and in the most audible London accent said 'I don't understand, I don't speak English' I made sure he left and then said 'arrrr-white may-eight. Cor blimey I don't speak a word of English' in my best Mary Poppins cockney.

He could possibly be a Junkette. Although a couple of months too late. The UK and The Sun is only interested in me when I'm banging up legal highs.

So, uncensored, enjoy the Junkette

Karma will ensure the violation I felt will be returned times threefold. Bless