This blog will contain my thoughts, feelings, my suicide letters, documented abuse and information from previous diaries and memories.
This blog also document what I want to be done with my stuff.
For starters, I want the world to know, I am tired of their games. So tired I saw no other way out, other than death. They know this but they still carried on. I felt pity for a school boy who committed suicide after relentless bullying. Then I realised what I'm going through is worse. Not only am I relentlessly bullied, but it is also the people who should give me solace from behaviour like that.
Not only am I tired, but there is no respite. it was inevitable it would go this way. I can only assume they want me dead, Else why did you keep pushing me away. You pushed me when I was in opiate withdrawal, olanzapine withdrawal, when I'm sober after rehab. Is it any wonder I returned to drugs?
You made me miserable... so Iused.
You gave me anxiety... so I used.
You made my ADHD worse... so used.
You stopped me sleeping... so I used.
You made me paranoid... so I used.
You made me scared of you and my own home... so I used.
I don't actually like HAVING to use. I like wanting to use. You made me do the former.
If you just left me alone I'd still be here.
So goodbye. I hope you're happy. I am. I finally know the truth and I never have to see you again. Because you're all going to hell for what you've done.
