❤️ October 2017 - Davron Cocktail

Used to commit suicide 

1) Dextropropoxyphene - barbiturate to end life

2) Fentanyl - IV opiates are fun

3) Diazepam - so I pass out 

4) Anti sickness drugs 

❤️ 90 Day Jane

Well I'm a little bit upset. There was a 'art' project called 90 Day Jane where this girl pretended she was going to commit Suicide in 90 days. She got loads of attention, media everything.

Her blog went mental.

I am really going to commit suicide.... I'm pretty sure no one reads my blog (mind you I should check online as I'm just on the app on my phone).

#itsnotaboutthedrugs

@Gemma_Stalked 

❤️ SUICIDE NOTE TO R*** AT MDART

Dear R***,

AUGUST 2017

Sorry I told you I couldn't be saved. Well my family started doing their bullshit again. I couldn't take it anymore. So now I'm gone. And free. No more lies, no more hurt, no more pain. I'm sorry this letter is in Private but I couldn't risk sending it before it has happened. I did not want anyone to save me. Plus I would only be undoubtably locked up in Springfield again and left to rot. So I had to do it properly this time.

Remember you told me the truth last time to get me to go there.  I hope you can now tell the truth I'm gone so justice is done. This isn't suicide R*** it's murder.

They continued to torment me R***. I had been to rehab for fuck's sake. What else could I do to make it stop? Being sober just made it hurt real bad.

They made N**** want nothing more to do with me. He was all I had left. He was going to give me £500 for my bills that would have given me a couple more weeks of trying to sort my life out. They knew that and they still carried on. They wanted this. 

OCTOBER 2017

Relasped. Can't take life anymore. Sorry, got wasted and it seemed like too much an easy option! 

#Itsnotaboutthedrugs @Gemma_Stalked

❤️ 11th September 2017 - Time To Give Up?

I'm tired and weary. I can't seem to sell my house, nor get a job. Money's running out. I really want to just give up now. Nothing is going right for me. I'm just not cut out for life. 

Last night for example I was cutting some bacon up for my cat and I managed to cut my finger. My initial reaction was to flick my finger in pain before I went to suck it. Then I saw it was pouring with blood. Went and got a plaster and returned to the conservatory only to find blood EVERYWHERE!! On the floor, on there white freshly painted walls, on the doors, windows, table, table mats! 

Whilst cleaning that up I also broke one of my leopard print wine glasses which I used to dress the table. I only had two, so the other one is useless now.

This morning, whilst surveying the damage I noticed even more blood. It was fucking everywhere, including the ceiling.

No doubt many people who view my house, purely do so, so they can see the junkie's house! Therefore splats of blood will only lead them to think I was banging up in there (I only ever use in my bedroom).

I was also horrendously sick this morning. I still feel rough now. This leads me to think of the unprotected sex I had with N when I was totally out of it. 

Finally, I've managed to lose my Oyster Card. That's a fiver plus whatever travel was on it, lost.

I can't seem to buy bit coins and I've only got one night of sleeping tablets left.

I really want to give up!

I would prefer to overdose with a plastic bag over my head, but without bit coins buying enough medication to overdose will be impossible. I really don't want to hang, but I might just have to.

I'm worried I'll get the knot wrong and suffer... but my choices are limited. 

I'd rather get incredibly drunk, neck the tablets and then put a plastic bag over my head.

The saddest thing is whenever I'm thinking of ending it all, Orion will suddenly want to be near me.

And then I have the hassle of getting this blog sent out to the press. What if I send the blog out and don't die? What if I leave instructions for someone else to do it and they don't.

Revealing the horrors bestowed on me is imperative.

All I know is I really want out of life. I want to escape those people and the misery they inflict on me. I can't take anymore. 

❤️ 12th July 2016 - iPad Hacked - Letter To My Abusers

This is why I'm going to kill myself 👍🏽 you're sick. You have NO reason to do this. I cannot believe you want me to believe this was a figment of my imagination, yet you're doing this now.

Having your daughter (I was once loved by you. You would do anything to protect me. Now you've killed me and dug my grave already) not just believe she had drug induced psychosis, you want me to think I'm proper crazy! Mentally insane. Coz this happens

an awful lot of the time when I'm fucking sober these days. 

I told you, you were pushing me over the edge when I was kept awake when I had my Ritalin a few weeks ago.

As it goes, I had a 1.5'day break from my Ritalin over this weekend so I'm not especially tired.

Even if you do decide you want your daughter to live and do tell the truth, I doubt that I have a life in the UK. And I don't think I'll ever have kids. What if I turn on them when they've fucked up in life. What if I

Publicly ruin their lives/careers and do nasty evil things to them. What if I turn out as nasty as you? Makes sense to stop the genes spreading doesn't it.

And I thought I was a daddy's girl. 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

I thought my daddy would always go out of his way to love and protect me. But instead he's turned out to be the nastiest, vile, evil sicko father who's tormenting and abuse (coz let's be honest... What you did far surpassed 'psychosis'. You pushed it way too far. This isn't tough love. This just shows what a nasty, horrible, person you truly are).

I can only conclude you want me dead. You're fully aware when I did this last week you were pushing me to suicide.

You still do damn nasty things like trying to get my spliff wet, and when I realised you were snooping on my calls and messages on my iPad and changed my password to say you were cunts, you have the cheek to get pissed off and change it again so I lose everything on my iPad.

How would you feel if you wrote a diary on your laptop and I logged on every time you were out and read your diary and read your private emails and messages.

The only way I'm going to live is if I get to tell the truth. And that requires you being honest. That way I can earn money and then retain to be a drugs counsellor. I would like to have not just a job, but a career. I don't think education is a likely option anymore thanks to you.

You could at least let me have a chance to tell the truth and rebuild my career. 

But you won't. Coz you want to take your dirty little secret to your graves.

But don't worry. Before I die i will send my autobiography to every media outlet I can find. Plus along with copies of my suicide notes. In will make sure your reputations get fucked. Just like you did to me. And because I'm dead, I know it'll get published!!

PARENTS WHO ENCOURAGED THEIR DAUGHTER TO BE MASS

STALKED, ALSO TORMENTED HER TO COMMIT SUICIDE 

• contrary to The Sun article she was not addicted to crack and heroin, this was a lie, she was abusing the legal high ethylphenidate, which is legal Ritalin
• she was single female living alone, yet her family, including father who works for the metropolitan police regularly would break and enter to her home and steal items
• Her father also drove with a fake number plate in an attempt to hide his vehicle
• Whole family ganged up on her when she needed help, including her brothers girlfriend 
• The results of their evil behaviour resulted in Jemma (I'm changing my name) having chronic anxiety, paranoia, and concerns about the security of her home

EVERYTHING, EVERY SINGLE THING. You'll go down as the worst parents in history especially as will include me practically begging with you to be honest or else there was no way out but my suicide. Everyone will know should you have been honest my death could have been prevented.

And I'll give them mdart's contact details to prove I wasn't on crack and heroin when you told your bullshit story which ultimately ensured I would commit suicide. 

I can't wait to die, and get the truth out!!! It's the only way I'm going to clear my name.

Killing myself. (Plus I can't retire as

I've been written out of your will, do Daniel get a million pounds that's in this property, plus all your stuff, even the stuff I bought for you, which he'll only chuck, but rather  then let me have keep sakes it's better to go to Daniels bin, but as its from me it's worth shit. Anyway, I have no partner to help me and I have no plans to be working until I die)

But oh don't you worry, I'll make sure EVERYONE knows every little nasty thing you did to your daughter, your sister.

3.30am dad goes downstairs with someone or to speak to. Someone. I go but stupidly don't check toilet 

Leave door open

4am I'm standing by door. Someone in conservatory is making lights flash my eyes. Put sunglasses on and they make it flash darker. Can still hear commentary  

5.25am dad comes down and shuts my door and goes downstairs. I can hear talking. Could be nice but dim

6.15am after coming up and telling mum 'she's awake!!' Dad leaves to Work super early with who ever he had in his room to torment me.

Why are they doing this to me? - they clearly want you dead. That old man was warned this would be the outcome but he

Torments you when your Ritalin keeps you awake. When you took nytol.

why are they so nasty. Not long and I'll be free (and dead but being free from this nasty privacy denying life is better than living with them tormenting me for the rest of my life) role on 2017.

I CAN'T WAIT TO DIE 💗💖💗💖💗