How I'm Feeling
Sometimes I wish I could just be saved. Someone could make it all better. They wouldn't judge me. They wouldn't feel ashamed or disappointed. They'd just hug me when I'm feeling like this. Tell me it will be alright. Offer me practical advise.
I'm unsave-able. I'm not only broken, I'm shattered. No one can glue me back together. I am the most horrendous human being that has ever existed. My family have been waiting for the day I kill myself since... I dunno.... when Fat Cunt was born? When I got fat and ugly? When they found out I was a junkie and started all this shit? Anyway, for a while.
I'm so sorry I am me. I hate being me just as much as you hate me. I wish you had another child. Always such a disappointment. I'm sorry. I won't be a burden for much longer. You can have the perfect family you deserve.
I'm going to make a book with all my final affairs in. It's not a will, but it will outline what I want. I know in life, there is no respect for me, but I hope in death there will be respect for my wishes. I won't ask for much.
I would like 6 months of living left. But that depends how much you push me. I can't take that anymore. That will make it happen soooo quick. It breaks my heart, coz I know you won't stop. But that's your call.
I hurt so bad.
#itsnotaboutthedrugs @Gemma_Stalked
