❤️ Evil Things My Family Do To Torment Me

I will keep updating this for as long as I’m alive, but please read my other posts to see what else they’ve (not) done to support me and my attempts at to sobriety.

(Prior to the post below

* CCTV in both my own house and theirs. In every room. At first it was old school, where they would watch the recordings after I had gone to bed. Then they progress to live streaming.

* Then they added little speakers. I actually saw them feeding one under my floor boards once, from my neighbour’s house. It was white. They did this, so I could hear them react to my actions. They would also read out loud any text I wrote on my phone. In an attempt to make their daughter, who already has severe mental health problems believe she was crazy. Seeing as I already self medicated my mental health problems with drugs, by doing this, naturally, they increased my drug use.

* ‘psychosis’ naturally was only present, when they weren’t. For example, when they were ‘out’ or ‘in bed’. I never had ‘psychosis’ in their presence 

* which leads to my next point, although I was still banging up speed in copious amounts whilst Sectioned as I smuggled both my works and plenty of drugs in there, again I had no episodes of psychosis. I naturally used the payphone opposed to my hacked phone to place orders for drugs and stayed away from my bedroom as I stupidly let them know which room I was using, so when I was in there, they’d spend their time camped outside so they could throw stones at my window. Quite pathetic, but I get great pleasure knowing that old witch who gave birth to me suffered a heart attack and was alone due to this

* stole my post, opened the packages containing my legal highs, contaminated them and then re-sealed the items. They allowed me to inject substances which rotted my flesh. There’s photos of this on my blog. Pure evil.

* the constant surveillance I’m both the home I had purchased and their home, resulted in me using dangerous amounts of drugs outside of these properties. I would attempt to use as much as possible before I returned to either property. This resulted in numerous near overdoses and one almost fatal overdose, resulting in two ambulance call outs, costing the NHS

* changed all my lightbulbs to types which had cameras inside. Again there’s photographic evidence of this on my blog.

* told lie to the Sun to evoke as much public hatred for me as possible. And recently they use social media to do this. 

* had me Sectioned, well aware the reasons where far from imaginary. During my section, when the witch had the heart attack, I clearly saw Sir Cunt A Lot and Nice But Dim sheepishly return to their vehicles and leave.

* fuck up the reflection on window... yeah sounds mad. But I’ve seen the reflection of people with ‘scary faces’ only to see said people lying in someone’s back garden two doors away. Twice in my house I’ve had the same on my bedroom window. The second time I laughed as the people ran one by one, to whatever was causing this reflection and said allowed ‘oh! They’re doing this again’ and the chubby faced, Middle aged woman, who seriously needed to do her roots, stopped running and said ‘oh! She knows what we’re doing’ smiled, and walked sheepishly away... really killing the ‘Scream-esq’ effect they were trying to portray. More recently, whilst my cat was sat next to me on the arm of the sofa... around about over dose time September 2017, I saw my dad and Fat Cunt reflected, pulling nasty faces at me and laughing, as the reflection of the cat who was sat next to me walked by. Yeah... nasty pieces of shit right? 

* caused me to suffer from a great deal of paranoia. Something which still effects me today and will do for the rest of my life.

* Hacked my expensive iPhones and iPads. This enabled people to stalk me and naturally terrified the crap out of me at first. This resulted in me dumping a brand new iPad through sheer fear. I had strangers with big dogs circling me. I nearly weighed 8 stone, so clearly unable to defend myself. 

* this one is incredibly strange, but they altered my clothes, therefore ruining most of them. I actually am wearing a pair of jeans today which the witch altered. She removed the normal studs from down the side of the jeans and replace them with glass type studs. Of course I was super paranoid, so thought these may have been hidden cameras. Fuck, they could have been hidden cameras. Other favourites where taking all my shoes and making one of them too small for me. Making walking incredibly painful. Or adding god knows what to my jumper sleeves so they constantly scratched me.

* Heard the witch’s next door neighbour, who must assume drug abuse equates to loss of hearing, tell her builders, loud and clear, while I was 20 feet away from her ‘that’s the girl from the Sun’. Oh, and I’ve had a homeless person and crack head in Brixton confirm this. And then there was the Asian guy on the bus who spilt the beans upon my disclosure of the truth. Oh and some other girl tell her Boyfriend I was the girl from the Sun doing cocaine. I was quick to correct her it was crack... and there’s countless more examples providing

Evidence of this. Recently I take pleasure in pulling out my brand new £1,500 phone, to hear people exclaim I have a new phone. This is especially great after they insult me on their crappy iPhone 5’s.

* had new keys cut, after I was fed up and frankly super insecure over the security of THE HOUSE I HAVE BOUGHT, got new keys cut. When I returned to my house, after spending exactly the last of the cash I had in my bank account, another set of keys had appeared and my house was unlocked.

Recently, after my security camera caught Fat Cunt entering my property illegally, I paid yet again to have the locks changed. Unfortunately this was when N was here... and I have no doubt he’s playing their stupid game. Most likely being blackmailed due to his choice of shall we say... self employment. So even now, I am finding evidence my property is being entered without my permission.

* the also took full advantage of my OCD, which has gone crazy since moving into this house and the explosion of mould, mould mites and dust mites. They took pleasure in driving me crazy. So I’d clean the witch’s kitchen floor, and some fucked up contraption, clearly hidden under the kitchen kick boards, would blow dirt back out again, meaning I was never able to keep it clean. I actually cared for the witch then, and thought this was especially cruel, not only to me, but to the witch too, as she had cancer. So I gave up in the end. Let the witch clean it. I tried to help the cancer riddled Bitch, they continued to fuck it up. So Fuck it.

* stalked me, and enrolled the public (by the lies told on social media and in the Sun). I actually have named and shamed the recent fuckers doing this. Yeah, this will reduce my anxiety won’t it.. )

So... you thought this was a campaigne to get me to stay sober right? WRONG!!

My parents torment me all the time. I might have had a lovely day at work and not be intending to use. Then I come home to this. This drives me so mad and gives me so much anxiety, inevitably I give up and use. If I’m going to be tormented whether I’m clean or high, I’m opting for the latter. What my family does to me really hurts, so naturally I’m going to look for something that relieves this pain.

When you read how much misery family cause me, you’ll understand why I’m so sad and end up using so much.

If my family put a fraction of the time into understanding ADHD or addiction as they do into making me miserable, I certainly would not be on the brink of suicide like I am now. The average drug addict goes through treatment 8 times. I failed detox once and they sold my soul to The Sun.

In rehab one of my close friend’s own mother gave up her drug addiction in order to support her daughter. My family can’t even give their 36 year old daughter basic human rights such as privacy.

I ALREADY HAVE A MENTAL DISABILITY! I WILL NOW HAVE SEVERE PARANOIA FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE DUE TO THEM.

I will most likely commit suicide soon, so to everyone who’s made my life I a misery, my blood will soon be on your hands.

I know their watching my every move. I’ve begged and begged them just to be honest and I’ll stop. I’ve offered them all my drugs if they just knock on my door and tell me the truth, while tears stream down my face. My mother was once watching me sob and sob for her like a child, yet she kept walking away. My father did the same, wearing a disguise of a pair of NHS glasses and my brother’s top in the park. Why don’t my mummy and daddy love me anymore. They know their game is nothing but detrimental. Why haven’t they stopped. Why do they continue. When did my mum and dad stop loving me. Why is their game more important than my life. My ears are naturally alert if I hear a sound similar to my cat crying. Why do my sobs not stir her maternal instinct anymore.

I don’t know these people anymore. They scare me.

And it’s got fuck all to do with drugs. Even when I’m fighting the urge to stop, they still torment me. I can honestly say, they want me to kill myself.

Would you do this to your child who had mental health problems and had begged for you to stop? Would you make their mental health problems worse? 

I wish I didn’t have my beautiful Orion, because this has been going on for 2 years. I can’t take much more. But I don’t think I’ll have to, to be honest. 

PRIVACY

Phone is hacked. They make sure it doesn’t work properly unless I’m with the phone repair man. Then they’ll let it work fine. They make sure I can’t use it properly, hence the numerous spelling and grammatical errors in this blog.

UPDATE - 14/11/17 - Turning on screen record, so I have evidence of my phone’s piss poor performance, which to show the phone repair man, immediately rectifies this problem!!

They listen in to every call I make and receive

When reviving important phone calls I nearly ALWAYS get calls from spam numbers about accidents I haven’t had. Including calls regarding job interviews

Read all my emails, meaning when I really need to speak to my Counsellor I can’t... meaning I end up numbing my pain through drugs and alcohol 

There’s been numerous times I’ve desperately wanted to speak to someone in private. And when I can’t, I tend to deal with these horrible feelings by using instead.

They watch me in every room in that fucking house of horrors. I can’t shit, masterbate or have sex without them watching.

In 2015 when I realised I was being mass stalked, and it appeared to be my beloved iPad people were following, I just left it in the street. I was so scared.

UPDATE - 10/11/17 - I’ve had two people point their camera’s at me on the tube. Another dick head had his flash on.  I’ve NOT USED CRACK, COCAINE, HEROIN, STIMULANTS OR INJECTED ALL WEEK. As they stole my buprenorphine I’ve been really sick all week at work. 

Around 3pm I begin to flag. 4pm I’m cold enough to pull my coat on in the office. 5.30pm I’m dozing on the tube, 6pm couldn’t come sooner! Because I needed more than 8mg... I was used to taking 10-12mg... rectally! Sublingual has anything from 30-50% bioavailability. Rectal bioavailability is near 90%. So Wednesday night, when I grabbed my script from a member of staff who enforced supervision, I removed it from my mouth as I left the shop.

‘She’s taken it out..’ some girl commented intentionally witnessing my crime. 

You don’t realise when you’re  feeling as bad as I was... and heroin is so easy to score... fighting that temptation is impossible.

Only those who haven’t been addicted will repeat some tosh, but they have no clue. It’s a million times worse than a flue. You’re so tired, but your aching limbs which constantly move, won’t let you sleep.

Every muscle and joint aches. You’re tired, drowsy, hot and then cold, snappy and miserable.

All it takes is a £10 brown rock to feel good again. In fact, you feel a million times better than good. Add into the equation you work in an area notorious for selling brown.. you even know dealers...

Yeah, damn right I’m gonna do anything to prevent that and remain productive at work. Work... hmmm... more bizarre behaviour... next update 

UPDATE - 16/11/17 - R*** my lovely friend and I went out for a few drinks. Because of the nationwide stalking I was not looking forward to it. First we went to Spoons which was filled was foreigners... my top stalkers. Because they can communicate in another language. We stayed for a couple and tried somewhere else.

When we got to another bar I spent £25 on two cocktails and two shots. She went to the toilet for a line... and did take ages. I noticed a member of staff say ‘that girl’s been locked in the toilets for ages’. When she came out I went. Almost the minute I was in there a bloke opened the door and said ‘hello’. I flushed and left the cubical. When I saw he had gone I returned back to do my hit. Upon returning to the bar the bar staff were clearly talking about us and the manager went upstairs.. clearly to check the CCTV. I told R*** I wanted out of there.

On the way to the tram stop some bloke stopped me and said ‘I bet you’re trouble’. I replied ‘I might be, but I work and own my own house, so what business was It of his. R*** mentioned she clearly noticed I was being watched and stared at. So along with N I have witness’s to what my family claim is ‘psychosis’

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH

As I’m dealing with a server mould infestation that I’m allergic to, they have great fun moving and replacing the cleaning stuff I desperately need in a order to sleep and remain itch free.

They steal my needles and make holes in them!! This means I have to stab myself 10 times to get one shot. I also miss a lot of shots. What parent would honestly make their child’s needles more dangerous than what they already are? I end up a bloody mess. Why would anyone do this if they care. My cousin used to leave his works on display in his room, safe in the knowledge my aunty would NEVER damage his pins.

They also cut my drug with all sorts. I’ve had two patches of them rotting flesh due to this. And they’ve drugged me twice with what I can only assume is GHB, leaving me nearly conscious. 

As I know they’re constantly watching me, my OCD gets worse and in turn my anxiety. 

UPDATE - 19/11/18 - So neither of my two alarms woke me up this morning. My friend’s phone didn’t wake him either. But his phone ringing woke me... at 8.20am. 

My phone had been snoozing... all by itself... and the alarm tone continued when I was finally awake.

For a normal person, this would be fucking bizarre. When you have a family trying to destroy you, this is normal.

Number 2.... my Concerta disappeared!!!! It better be at home or the police will be called.

Finally re-set my Cubit (bit coin) account, sent money to Dream Market account. I have bought the most dodgy benzos recently..... they’re definitely cut with all sorts of shit.

UPDATE - 28/11/17 - Although I’ve told my parents in real life and the ‘psychosis’ Ones how seriously ill I am, the stalking still continues. If I have anything serious I will not accept treatment, which I feel like I do, judging by the frantic calls from the GP and their urgency to see me. Let’s face it, if i sell this fucking house I’m not going to have many belongings I can take with me. When you add the fact I’m stalked, judged and treated like shit by the public due to the lies my own family have told... which is affecting me to the point i know I won’t pass my probation at work... what’s the point. My lovely cat deserves to live in a mite and mould free home. So it’s the best decision all round.

MY MEDICATION

I also dissolve my medication and take it rectally for several reasons. 1) I’m often sick in the mornings and don’t want to vomit through my hands to catch a 12 hour tablet. 2) because it’s a 12 hour tablet and I like to control being able to eat and rest. Once you’ve taken it, you can forget about going out for lunch or having an afternoon nap. I stupidly left my meds in a glass to dissolve and they clearly spiked it with a sedative. I had used enough tablets for a week. So today was a fcuked up day at work. I could barely keep my eyes open. I can’t believe they messed with my medication! I can’t get up without it! I’m going to run out now and I’m scared as I can’t go to work without my meds. I’m definitely a good 7 days short of tablets now!! Why would they ruin my ability to work! No different from ruining a diabetic’s insulin! I will HAVE to buy stimulates now in order to get through the month!!!! 

They also made a point of going into my medications wallet and separating my two buprenorphine that I need so I’m not sick at work. 

I’m also addicted to benzodiazepines and due to the anxiety they caused. I buy these. Even though it’s well known that abrupt withdrawal causes seizures and death, they steal mine and intercept my post with these in.

The also steal the Zopiclone and Zolpidem I have bought in order to reduce my addiction to the above.

Last night the stole my Buprenorphine. Therefore today I’ll have to buy heroin so I’m not sick. I hope the tablet is there when I get home as I’m already in sever withdrawal and will need to vomit soon. This causing me to not be as productive as I could be at work 

I may not be intending to use. Then I come home to this. This drives me so mad and gives me so much anxiety, inevitably I give up and use. If I’m going to be tormented whether I’m clean or high, I’m opting for the latter. It hurts, so naturally I’m going to look for something that relieves this pain

TRYING TO RUIN THE JOB WHICH I LOVE

When I first started thankfully Nigel was living with me and I was able to wake up when he woke up. I did wonder why I was sleeping though my alarm. But assumed it was due to me not being used to getting up early. When he left after the arguments 3 days I was late for work..still sleeping through my alarm. It was then I discovered my alarm default tone had been changed to none. It worked fine before work.

They change the TV channel to ITV plus 1, so when I first wake up I think it’s 6am, not 7am.

They stole my cash card, knowing I didn’t have enough money on my Oyster cards to get to work 

They stop the bus time app working, so I can’t see when my bus is due... thus making me late

They make sure I am unable to finish the jobs I need to finish before bed, so I don’t sleep until 3am

They hide my phone knowing I have no other alarm, and return it at 3am (this was after getting my phone fixed and removing the device they use to hack it. They also drugged me this night.

UPDATE - 10/11/17 - the atmosphere has changed. Monday I texted my boss to say I was dropping off a prescription before coming in. I did arrived to a couple of colleagues and a locked door. No one with keys had arrived. So I returned for the script I needed to stop itching. The office only opened at 9.20am. I was still subjected to a serious toned conversation regarding my time of arrival. Typically ADHD it only occurred to me after I had said it, but I had dropped him in it. My sincerest apologies. My boss then sheepishly replied that would be a separate matter to deal with.

Tuesday genuinely late. Needless to say it’s not fun living alone. Every morning I awoke to a flood of tears upon realisation something was missing

or had been moved.. my distress, it’s only intentional. Oyster card, cash card (leaving me begging a stranger at the tube), sweet chilli sauce next to the TV when I know I haven’t eaten. Anyway.. arrived 09.07am. Only 3 other members of staff there before me.

Wednesday I arrived at 9am. My manager 09.03am. Again the arua of disappointment easily sensed... the joy of being a little psychic.

Thursday on time.

I’ve noticed my colleague who is part time and has major problems walking, going on training . Today she was given 4 referrals whilst I had none. So I went through the outdated Excel database and called and called and called...  BLAM!

I’ve had one job outcome confirmed, I’ve got another 2 possibles AND a calendar full of appointments! Contacted over 20% of caseload who are not working. I know I’ll have to fight 10 times harder now to keep my job. They are desperate to find a reason to dismiss me.. I’m gonna prove I’m damn good first!! And no matter what dick head things I do, I’m good at my job. 

My colleagues no longer initiate conversation with me... well bar two non-judgemental colleagues. I’m hazarding a guess that they’re both Muslim too, just to contrast society’s general perception.

Sad, we can knock another ‘love’ off my dwindling list. People are more snappy, less patient and friendly.

Quite sad, but it does make things much more easier.

UPDATE - 14/11/17 - Although people are a bit nicer colleagues still generally will start ignoring me and talking to someone else mid sentence. 

UPDATE - 22/11/17 - After stealing the rock of crack I had bought to smoke, which would have been a much safer drug to use than than the additional cocaine (which I IV) my phone which was 100% battery and plugged in, managed to become unplugged, and although it was not being used all night, no N**’s they both died to the point that the alarm didn’t go off on either phone. I awoke at 8am in a panick. Thankfully my GP does want to see

UPDATE - 24/11/17 - I had a GP appointment on Monday and would have arrived at 9.30am. But their was a tube strike. So using Wi-fi I phoned and emailed the office to say I was stuck on the tube.

However on Friday I was reprimanded for this. I explained their was a tube strike and J** said well everyone has problems with transport, you need to tell us. So I reminded them I had called and emailed whilst stuck underground... what else could I have done. What’s even more ironic is I arrived at 10am. And both the managers telling me off, had both arrived later than 10am that week. Today 27/11/17 A** asked how late I arrived!!! I arrived before A** and before 9am and was stuck outside the office waiting for someone with a key!! I reminded him I was at the office before him. Again, you could feel the aura of disappointment as he realised I was correct. I have also found out today I haven’t been invited to the staff Christmas party.  

MAKING ME SCARED OF MY OWN HOME

They make noise upstairs when I’m down stair and vice versa

 

They’ve made me mentally ill with the anxiety they cause. This in turn makes my ADHD worse. They know doing this will prevent me from staying clean, yet they still do this when I’m clean, so what’s the point. There’s no incentive to stay clean if I’m tormented all the time

They’ve ruined my friendship with not only my best,  but only friend by making him think I’m hiding a man in the house.

They’ve spent a lot of money refurbishing my house... but only to install CCTV and devices they can scare me with 

November / December 2017 - in order to hack my phone they date rape drugged me. In the box I leave my needles in I discovered one, which bizarrely was half filled with cocaine and a little blood. I should have known I would not have left any coke in a pin. Banged it up, and within 10 seconds I was stumbling around and fighting to stay awake. My phone had vanished. Off my head, desperately trying to stay away, I kept looking for phone. I was living alone this week and needed phone for alarm. Whilst securing doors upstairs, now 3am. Suddenly I heard noise down stairs and when I retuned my 6 month old iPhone 7, now hacked, was in the middle of my living room floor.

In these pictures you can see they’ve made sure the bathroom window doesn’t give a straight reflection, making it look like there’s someone in my house.

I’m a petite, single female... who the fuck does this to their daughter. 

UPDATE - 14/11/17 - Since N has moved back in nothing has gone ‘missing’, been moved or made me late for work. I have not been waking up bursting into tears each morning. Seems like until I move my own company, something that will remain elusive.

Ignore comments from Kate Beniston - She’s a thief, there’s a whole post dedicated to her. 

27/12/17 - They deleted my blog posts. Guilty conscious eh?

24/02/18 - they stole my bitcoins. My account changed from £82 to £1. 

They’ve stolen my money.

They know I won’t be able to work unless I take benzos.

25/02/18 - They have stolen my concerta and buprenorphine. I cannot function without either. One means stimulant abuse and the other opiate abuse.

26/02/18 - yes, this week I was alone. Today my cash card wasn’t in my wallet and I had to beg a stranger for £3 to get to work

27/02/18 - Today my Oyster card had vanished. This makes it more than apparent, than rather live alone, they want me to live with the one person I know. Another crack head. Who will only encourage and increase my drug use

21/04/18 - Ruined Devon.  Was now being stalked there. This was due to me stupidly leaving my phone out of my possession for 10 mins and this is what happened. They’ve ruined my chance of being happy. My clean mate wanted to rent a room from me, which isn’t happening now. They’ve ruined my only chance of being happy. Naturally I don’t want to be clean now.

22/04/18 - Clearly in the neighbour’s garden, who has the corner house, they spent the night frightening my pet rabbits who I had left in their outside hutch as the weather was nice and I was off work the following Monday. So, this meant they weren’t trapped in a little cage until I woke up. They also spent ages making shadows from the light that came from my conservatory. They’re twats aren’t they?? It was cold that night and they chose to be outside until 2am just so they could scare three defenceless little creatures, that had already had troublesome lives before being adopted by me.  

24/05/18 - My alarm for work didn’t go off 

24/05/18 - my colleague brought me a cheap souvenir from his holiday. My manager threw the comment is that your drugs. Not the first time this comment has been said. Funny thing is, they only say it when it’s an Amazon package, and never the sleeping pills.

26/05/18 - again, no alarm. More hatred from colleagues 

Update 25/04/18 - well there’s bear other posts I haven’t added, but back in the beginning of March before I went house hunting, I was locked out of my iPhone, so I bought some proper cheap phone. I used it for 2 days and it’s sat in a leather footrest / box ever since. Not charged. Well this morning, I woke up to this phone’s alarm. Not only had it magically charged, but it also set its own alarm. And my light was on!!  I’ve not used all week. I can’t win. No matter what I do, I’m abused. I was fucking raped because I was faced with no choice but to live with someone I didn’t want to live with. I fucking stay clean and STILL, they feel the need to come in, at night time and disturb me. I cannot win. They wonder why I get fed up after a while and end up sticking needles in my arms!!!!!! I’m happy with me and my pets. When I’m clean, why can they not leave me the fuck alone!!! I’ll tell you why. It’s got FUCK all to do with the drugs. They want me to kill my self and will try their hardest to hide it from the press... so these nasty people pieces of shit can carry on pretending their nice people. BUT THEY HAVE MADE IT TOO BIG. And they know I’m close to getting to tell the truth. And they’ll most likely face prison sentences and my brother and his girlfriend will lose custody of their children. It’s not about the drugs. No matter how much I’m clean. It’s about hiding their dirty big secret. 

27/04/18 - after not touching a drug all week, I decide to have a teeny splurge with £20 of white.

Whilst in between the kitchen and front room, I noticed a shadow in the front room which didn’t appear normal.

10 mins later my pipe has vanished. So if you’re gonna steal my pipe, this must mean you want me to inject... coz I can buy glue and fix the damaged needles.

And being minus my pipe means, minus my recycle. So yet again, I never get a proper session. They always ruin it somehow. 

So now, I’ve made a pipe, and I’ve bought 3 more, they know if I don’t get what I anticipate, I ALWAYS end up getting more. 

And, as I haven’t touched FUCK ALL the whole week, and they are fully aware of the effects stimulants have on an ADHD brain, they’d let me have my 5 mins of peace.

Stupid Me!!

03/05/18 - it’s clear they’ve spread their BS again as NONE of my colleagues want to talk to me anymore. I can’t win. I lost my job and I was abused. I got a new job and they continue to abuse me and make my colleagues hate me.

05/05/18 - I could hear all my family having a BBQ in one of my neighbour’s houses. My aunty. My neice. The whole lot. All I did today was go collect my meds and shopping.