It can be rented for quite a lot meaning my parents can have some of their money paid back which is a huge relief to me. I'll only be paying the mortgage £450 and council tax (£160 at the moment due to missed payments during my bad period) £90.
I'm going to claim Universal Credit which is the ESA version in my area.
Mind you I've just been emailed about two fantastic jobs.... They could be short term so I've said I'm interested. Plus it'll take 1-2 months to sort rehab and I can always detox in the community again.
I just want the old me back again.
But I know I need rehab.
Maybe there's one with day release so I can work??
I'd rather do a temp job and detox in the community and when the job finishes, go to rehab.
I'd rather be normal and not have to go rehab at all. But to be a normal person (who only smokes weed and indulges in a line of sniffed Charlie at special occasions), I think I do need rehab.
I also desperately need a decent amount of methylphenidate. Which rules out the Charlie, as when on a decent amount Coke doesn't work.
It was so weird when I was on a proper dose of methylphenidate before. I'd wake up with no anxiety or negative thoughts. Opening post didn't bring an impending sense of doom. Getting 4 emails, a knock on my office door and a phone call at the same time didn't stress me.
Haha! My father didn't stress me. The only drug free period in my life was the 3 months I was on a decent dose of methylphenidate and before I began experimenting with intravenous drug use.
If I had the Delorian I'd go back to then and tell myself never to pick up a needle.
Today I searched for homes I could afford to buy out right and was presented with a list of mobile homes miles away from my family. Although I despise their actions when I use legal highs, I realised I didn't want to be so far away from them. Especially my mum.
On a sad note my rabbit Fyver has been eaten by a fox. I'm so gutted. Fluffy his girlfriend is well sad and lonely. I know I can't get her a companion until I'm back in my own house. Maybe after rehab, but not for a good 6 months. I've lost 3 pets in just over a year.
RIP
Cyran - bunny
Tsega - cat
Fyver - bunny
Anyway I'm counting my blessings. I still have my forever home. I hope my father makes it secure as he promised me. I'll still change the locks when I finally move back in.
But I don't have to move miles away into a mobile home! I'm happy.
