❤️ Dear Daily Mail

If this book is in your possession I am dead.  I commited suicide, but it's not really suicide it's murder.  I believe my family tormented me and tormented me, until I killed myself.  They deny this and claim it's drug induced psychosis, but they never stop.

 If I am truly mad, please use these blog posts to create a lovely article on the danger of drug addiction and the subsequent psychosis one is liable to suffer from.

However, if indeed, i did appear in the Sun, was abused and mass stalked by my family (and seeing as you briefly followed me on Twitter, the latter seems to have more credibility), this should be an interesting read.

I will ensure you receive this blog prior to any attempts to terminate my existence. Even though my family have installed surveillance in the house I own, they will most likely sit back and do nothing should

I try to take my life.

If this provides enough evidence for the to be prosecuted, please go ahead.

The main abusers are

My father - Sir Cunt-a-Lot. 

My mother - I have no word for this woman. She cruel beyond what one can imagine. She deserted her baby, when her baby needed her help. I have more maternal instincts for my cat than she does for me.

My brother - Fat Cunt

My brother’s girl friend - Nice But Dim.

I hope they all get equally long custodial sentences.

If I do commit suicide, please get the truth told.

If I had a normal family, who supported me, I could have picked myself up and carried on.

I don’t.

Combined with all the other events, abuse, trauma, this is not suicide. Those people are my murderers. Along with many others contributing.

Please give me a voice.

The truth behind the most twisted tale of abuse lies within this blog.

I had psychosis when I was clean. Psychosis when I was in opiate withdrawal. Psychosis when I was in olanzapine withdrawal. Psychosis from taking a Nytol. I had psychosis after rehab.

I didn’t have psychosis at all when I went away for two emergency detoxes. Nor when I was sectioned in Springfield even though I was still chronically abusing speed, benzos and weed. I smuggled my works in and I was objecting just as much speed in their as I was using outside. I didn’t have psychosis in rehab. Nor when I used excessively outside my home (or their home)

I know I do not have psychosis. I know all these sick, evil things are done by my family. So I am going to document them for you

This blog details the sick things they have done, the subsequent decline in my mental health and even though my family are completely aware of what they’re doing, what the result of their actions are, my suicide; this proves they want me dead. They could have stopped and left me alone.  But they pushed and pushed me.

I DID NOT COMMIT SUICIDE! I WAS MURDERED.

BY MY FAMILY!

When I needed them the most they destroyed me. It broke me. They broke me. I used to love them so much. Now I am scared of them. Petrified. 

I am scared of my own home, due to their unrelentless, disgusting behaviour. They have driven the one person I had supporting me away. My fear of my lack of privacy and the misery they cause me, was the catalyst for the whole mess which occurred prior to my death.

They have destroyed me. 

(If I had a normal family) and I was a normal 36 year old, I could have picked myself up. Told them some bullshit and carried on. Not having any privacy has killed me. Having people enter my home and leaving my door unlocked, or moving my belongings around, or even leaving a big window open so my beloved cat could have escaped, destroyed me. 

They know my cat is the only thing keeping me alive. If that doesn’t prove they want me dead, I don’t know what does.

So enjoy reading the truth (not the bullshit in the Sun), about the world’s most evil parents.

I do not wish to be referred to by my birth name.

Jay x x x 

❤️ June 2015 - Once Upon a Time - The Binge Part 4

Got white And b. Kicks out again 

and N**** got some B and smoked some crack.

Kicked out again at some point. Can't believe my parents authorise this.

(This post clearly was not finished... and unfortunately now, my memory is hazy. I will read parts 1, 2 and 3 when I’ve sorted my blog and endeavour to finish this! Jay x)

❤️ 01st June 2015 - Journal

Wow oh wow!

I just found a pot of gold!!

A pack of Blue Stuff!

My favourite legal high which is now illegal to sell. I'm not publishing this blog until a good week has passed.

Wouldn't want to get psychosis and when your mum and dad are stalking you blogging / making thIs fact knowledgeable will only result in you suffering at their evil hands.

There's only a little 1/2 gramme say. I'm sharing so 1/4 a gramme of gorgeous blue crystals with my friend.

And even though from April 14th - 30th I was probably using less due to psychosis hounding me (my parents, the Junkettes), and my gear being contaminated, unlike then, there's no whipsering (courtesy of the little white speaker they tend to shove under my floor boards in an attempt to have their single daughter living alone think she's mad. I didn't . I do freak over the security of my home though so thanks for the paranoia).

Not seeing my baldy Fat Cunt sibling in a wig. Accompanied by B***** his girlfriends little sister (who has dip dyed hair, take note nice but Dim). How the fuck did he get a freedom pass, and why? Please feel free to top up my Oyster.

No flashes from phone cameras.

No removing items from my bag.

No disappearing keys (I hope you've got my Mercedes Kompressor Key)

No 'shhhh', 'mum', 'sigh' *yawn*

Back like before they discovered I was banging up. Just me, speed and a beautiful sense of calm in my head.

Yes in the absence of Ritalin aka methylphenidate, ethylphenidate works rather well when used sensibly.

Sensibly 1/4 to 1/2 a day intravenously. Still excessive but I'm not chewing my face off with Bambi deer eyes (massive pupils).

❤️ 01st June 2015 - Journal

There's no point trying to keep a written diary. My only record of the horrendous actions done to me appears to be missing

Not happy with the iPad they took the pad!

Today me and my friend discovered the legal high shop is giving away old stock they can't sell. Bought some sleepers and got some ethylphenidate.

Slept at N**’s. Got Fat Cunt psychosis (where my brother hacks my mobile phone, and the speaker. So he can read what I am writing on my screen and read it out as I write it)

#iwillbefamous #thetruth #Itsnotaboutthedrugs @Gemma_Stalked

❤️ June 2015 - Once Upon a Time - The Binge Part 4

‘Caught out!' I sang to J**** as he came back into the room in the style of Usher. 

'You're a Junkette, actor, set up to be friend me'

'What?'

'You're not the first'

I explained that I had come across 'Junkettes' before, how they had a natural immunity to intravenous drug use, unlike most strange junkies, I sensed no danger in their aura.

I promptly left and within 5 minutes bumped into N****. He never came to Upper Tulse Hill, so I knew this was set up for me.

'Hi' I said

'Hi, what you doing here'

'Just smoking some crack'

He changed direction and, with me, walked back to his house. Clearly only there to meet me otherwise he would have carried on.

We headed back to his flat and began out mantra-esq routine of banging up speed and doing tweaking actions.

Me writing my blog, making up spits, which is rap tunes and playing with my tarot cards. N**** playing on his phone, play station and house work (well not really house work, but things that needed to be done in the house).

It wasn't long until I was again accused of having a mystery man and kicked out again. N**** had given me an old Apple Mac for my birthday and had already taken it back the previous night I was kicked out, yet again he took it from me. 

'I've got no phone, no iPad, nothing. Least let me take it to communicate with'

N**** ignored my pleas but didn't prevent me taking it. 

I bought two cans of spirit and mixer from the offie and headed back to Brockwell Park.

'Hey!! Come and drink with us!!'

A gorgeous mixed race guy called out to me.

'Ummm, maybe in a bit. I just wanna have a drink first' I replied.

'Come on, we're getting a smoke and some pills'

'Serious, I ain't feeling it babes. Just let me have a drink first'

The georgous guy kept begging but I kept walking.

I headed to a shaded spot near a fenced off over grown section and sat down. I opened one of the drinks and began to sort through the Apple Mac laptop.

It wasn't long till Mr Georgous came over.

'Why won't you join us for a drink'

'I will in a bit. I'm just a bit stressed. Wanted to have a drink or two. Not feeling sociable'

'Come on babes. T***'s gone to get a smoke and some pills'

'Now a pill!! That is tempting. Can I buy one? Haven't had a decent pill in ages'

'Sure' then he called 'T***!' to a park bench looking guy passing complete with a can of Special Brew. The guy stopped and sauntered over.

'Hey can you get a pill for..' he looked at me 'I didn't get your name?'

'J****' I replied 

'Urrrr I don't know about that mate'

'I'll pay' I added

'Come on mate' Mr Georgous chipped in.

'Yeah yeah, ok then' he then turned to me 'pass me that can, I've got some gear to smoke'

He pulled out a brown herb type plant. Similar to weed. Mr Georgous squashed the can and made some holes in it. In turn we all had a toke. 

'Shit, that stinks!' I exclaimed

'Dead man's leg, it's known as' and it really did stink of dead rotting flesh. In the busy park I took a toke and suddenly my head was spinning. 

It was a hallucinogenic and suddenlya face appeared on the tree in the distance. I felt dizzy and a little sick. I was  glad I only had one small toke.

'Come over and chill with us' Mr G asked again.

'I have to go Boots but I'll be back in an hour. Will you still be here'

'Yeah, we'll come Boots with you'

'I have to go Colliers Wood. I'll meet you back here. I want a pill. Ain't had a decent one in years. You're definitely getting some right?'

'Sure' and upon saying that N**** suddenly appeared walking through the gate. I quickly hit up in my hand, keeping it in my bag. I struggled to get a clean hit and was annoyed. I no longer cared about hiding my habit. Injecting myself in a packed park mid afternoon in Mr G's presence. Again he was not phased, shame, another Junkette. Only wanting my attention as he'd been instructed to get it. Not because he found me attractive or anything.

N**** was still furious and he marched over at light speed upon seeing my male company. The argument followed, N**** shouting and snatching the laptop. Mr G. intervened and calmed him down.

'I've got light at mine and I'm getting some dark' and being the typical junkie I  am it wasn't long until I left the park and went back to N****’s for a blaze.

'I'll see you later' I called to Mr G. who was reluctant to let me go.

We decided to walk to Tulse Hill and get some brown. This would remove the need for me to make the journey to Colliers Wood. 

TBC

❤️ 04th June 2015 - Journal

Bought new clothes. As I tried them on I heard 'I've gotta watch her she's a junkie'. Just left changing room door open. 

Again in the toilet.

Banged up in wooded waste land.

Tried to speak to The Sun and although I was telling them a member of the Met Police broke the law, they seemed weird. Told me to go hospital. Something not right here.

Found Internet cafe where my brother could spy on me. Makes me so sad. Dunno if he was speaking fluent Spanish. If so well done fat cunt!

Honest I'm surprised.

Got on bus and got talking to Junkette. Well one saw me go to my bag and said in Punjab or similar 'she's banging up'. I replied I was getting my phone. I got the head phones and pretended to talk. Saying out loud what my parents where doing and that it was legal Ritalin. This enabled me to engage with one.

After hearing the truth he felt sorry. I asked

'Why am I famous'

'You were in The Sun'

Wham! Everything fell into place.

Got hostel in Brixton where Junkette was waiting to make sure I didn't bang up.

Crying in tears I tried to find a pay phone to call home. 4 ate my money but didn't work. As I walked the street I told people it wasn't true and more confirmed. A picture of me smoking crack taken by my  bestie. 

My mother still lied. I cannot believe they have ruined my life. And lied. Suppose

'GIRL WITH ADHD USES LEGAL RITALIN' doesn't evoke as much hatred as dirty crack junkie. This is why The Sun seemed weird on the phone. 

This must have been January, possibly when I was in hospital as my LinkedIn profile got more views than an MP.

Not only have they destroyed my house, car, possessions, killed my rabbit, had me sectioned, but now I know why everyone is on track mark watch.

They control my internet so I can't find the article either. I knew people wouldn't lie for them forever.

Either they tell the truth or, if I fight for it, when I win, there is no family. 

They prevent me calling The Mirror, why? The truth WILL come out. 

All they have done is make me use more drugs. They could have paid for ADHD doc, got me concerta, paid for detox and rehab. 

That's all I want my Ritalin. I can't get it until detox is booked. My drugs team are full of excuses as to why it's not being booked.

I want to go. I want my meds. I'd be willing to do daily drugs tests for concerta. I'm heart broken.

My career in education, over.

Everyone is pushing for me to fail. Not one person will help me. I need help. I can't do this alone. I'm scared, weary and running out of fight.

Before I met people and then they decided whether I was nice or not.

Now they all hate me and I have to prove I'm nice.

I wanted a quiet life. Rescue chickens, growing vegetables, peace, being anonymous.

I can never forgive them for taking that from me.

Along with the sick things they've done, they're up there with Fred and Rose West for sickest parents. I'd rather physical abuse. It lasts 20 minutes and it's over. My abuse it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

I'm trying to fight for help and the truth. Otherwise I'm heading for suicide.

I can't fight the whole of the UK.

I'm so devastated. Not only have my whole family ganged up on me, tortured me, destroyed my life, but lied to the national press.

I will never pretend this is in my head. If they want me in their life the truth is imperative.

Death has never seen more appealing.

Junkie Jay (not my real name but I will change it by de-poll) 

❤️ 02nd June 2015 - Journal

N turned nasty as he is commanded to when on ethylphenidate. Kicked me out at 1.30am. 

Went Brockwell park. Saw two death figures. Black cloaks, lights for eyes. They ran like pussy's when I chased them. They got my phone though.

I know it was them as I searched all night and there was no one else in the park.

At 5am queue a Junkette. Got chatting went back to his. Pretended he was a smack head. Have to admit playing withdrawal, although he went from normal to sick rather quick, was good.

The gear though!!! Firstly he put a whole pack of citric in a hit!! WTF, that does a whole gramme!

It was too dark brown, and he didn't use a filter. Said he used his groin and bangs up too quick. 

It wasn't B and his acting was OTT. 

'Wow! This is so good'

Least the small blaze of crack was legit. 

He said his name was something or another and I found bear shit with a next name on it!

Bingo! Spy or set up. Told him game over and left.

Back to N’s. He dragged me around Brockwell Park pretending to get my phone. 

We argue, got chatting to next guy who gave me a blaze of some herb that smelt like the rotting flesh on my leg. Man it fucked me. Refused anymore and me and N got some B and smoked some crack.

Kicked out again at some point. Can't believe my parents authorise this.