❤️ August 2013 - The Junkie Diet

Here I was 7 stone 7lbs / 47.6kg to 8 stone / 50.8kg. Although my boobs vanish I LOVE my tummy. 

Until recently I looked like this.

#itsnotaboutthedrugs @Gemma_Stalked

❤️ 06th October 2017 - Rehab Journal

Got pissed in group and stormed out because people kept talking over me and the Counsellor didn't com back to me. Had to see her after like a naughty child.

Can't eat anything else but I can buy low cal snacks. Maybe I'll show F or S this one day, but not until I'm at least 8.7lbs (I gained a lot of weight in rehab and was completely obsessed about it the whole time, restricting and vomiting)

A's food for the weekend is crap. I'm gonna have to be sick if I eat it. I'll try save my sandwich. Would rather restrict than vomit.

LATER

Had to have my first counselling session with F. I like him it's easy to be honest. He told me being famous for being a junkie is traumatic. Told me off for being a perfectionist too.

I told him a bit about my food obsession but I didn't disclose in depth. I need to lose weight first. I'm too fat for an ED. K wanted to borrow money, others told me not to as she owes £100 (K smoked £30 of cigarettes a day, while we all had £4 a week pouches of dodgy baccy... supplied by me!). She's got pissed. She smokes fags too, wish I could afford to 40 fags a day! She's got a right attitude problem now.  

G keeps calling. I can't deal with her shit. She never asked about me and I have my own shit right now.

Counsellor noticed the clocks we had put forward to have shorter sessions. I said I must have been the batteries.

#itsnotaboutthedrugs

@Gemma_Stalked