Untitled Note - 2015

Am I not your real child?  I've always felt safer at N's.

Last night he roughed me up.

Why did you take him?

All those dodgy screws are now in his flat

Fat Cunt and him tag team of torment

Letter to 'Psychosis' AKA My Family - 2015

Dear Psychosis

Firstly 'dad' psychosis, you are an evil man.  I found your cameras in the wall sockets.  I found the weird screws in the bathroom.

The whispering stops (UPDATE 2018 - they continue to do this to today, it's gas lighting in its finest, they also used the hacked mobile to do this).  

Mum - you are a bitch.  You want your baby.  Well caught out.  Now don't lie, just don't speak.

1 - Allow me peace.  Why is it whenever I'm alone in the park, a fucking helicopter suddenly appears above (2018 - this is no joke, I even had one hovering outside my bedroom window for ages once)

2 - Stop those stupid 4 x 4's who play noises like helicopters (2018 - again, this wasn't in my head unfortunately)

3 - Actors playing your game
Looking out for me
Getting out their phones
Getting anxious when I clock them (2018 - this is the junkettes, AKA, the dick heads who believe the destruction of my mental wellbeing is appropriate support for someone trying to reach sobriety)

Untitled Note - 2015

Another hand written note for them to read, clearly at another suicidal point in my life.

I'll be free from pain, regain privacy, be rid of you (miss Orion and Fyver)

Fyver needs a mate (rabbits must be two)

Find Orion a new home, I know you don't like him coz he cries.

Sell my goods so money for Fyver and Orion

You would be totally retarded to abuse them (save that for the unwanted family member... me)

Untitled Note - 2015

This is one of my notes from when I knew they were watching me with their stupid light bulb cameras.

'Being the 'mad' loser I am, I'm staging a protest.

What do I want?
The TRUTH
When do you want it?
Depends when you want your (ripped... but appears to be hostage) back!

Most probably in relation to taking the witch's jewellery.

29th March 2018 - Evidence of Abuse

Got speed last night.

Next day, 6 alarms and not one goes off for work.

18th August 2017 - Dear Jo @ Samaritans

Update 2018 - This is one of the many drafts I have written to Jo at the Samaritans.  I never completed it.

Hi

This is a long story, but I need to talk to someone. I am so close to giving up, I can't take anymore and no matter what I do, they don't stop!

It all started back in late 2014 early 2015. Unfortunately during 2014 I became addicted to a legal high called ethylphenidate. I have ADHD and I take Ritalin now, which is methylphenidate.

Of course ethylphenidate had a great effect on me when I first started using in May 2013, but I quickly became addicted and by March 2014 I was injecting large amounts daily. 

I visited a friend in July 2014 and she found a needle. Clearly she reported back to my family as they're friends on Facebook, and this is when it all started.

Things started going missing in my house. I'd find windows open I had left closed and locked doors unlocked. As they thought it was my friend who got me into injecting drugs (it wasn't, I got him into injecting), they went out of their way to destroy our relationship. He fancies me, so they some how managed to convince him I was hiding a man in the house.

I also managed to become infected with scabies during this time, so with being accused of doing things I wasn't doing, being bitten to infinitely with oozing wounds that wouldn't heal, on top of what I've mentioned above, needless to say my mental health deteriorated.

By November 2014 my parents 'officially' found out about my drug use and I went to detox. I would be dead if I had not gone. I was only weighing 7 stone when I was admitted and I'm 5'6.

Anyway I wasn't ready to stop using and when I came out I relapsed. This is when everything started to go really crazy. 

Firstly my LinkedIn was getting an insane amount of views. Really crazy. And my friends on Facebook started to drop like flies, including family members. For no reason apparently if you ask my family.

Then, when ever I was in there house I knew I was being watched. At first, they would wait until they believed I was asleep. Then I would hear my dad go into my mum's room and watch a video clearly of me banging up drugs. I would hear them cry. One day I didn't use and I can remember hearing my mother say 'oh she didn't use'.

This quickly progressed to live cameras. I would hear my parents react when I was injecting drugs all the time.

Soon they added speakers to the mix meaning I could now hear them. This only happened when they were 'out' or 'in Bed' and never happened when they were both watching 

06th February 2016 - Cameras And Tracking Equipment

Update 2018 - Naturally, knowing I didn't have privacy, combined with speed, made me paranoid.  However, I have actually found a company which does make recording equipment so tiny you can hide it in screws.  In relation to the hinges, again, I still believe they may have something hidden in, as there's a few, which only have the paint removed in a small section (as below) and even when I paint over it, they end up with the paint scratched off again. These hinges also give RF (radio frequency) readings, which when I have a mobile that isn't hacked, I can get the videos to confirm this added on my blog.

Screws that look like mini cameras. They Side of them

Weird hinge

Weird hinge (listening device)

Wall with weird circuit boards 

Weird circuit boards found in wall

My Fat Ass In Rehab

Enjoy! I was a disgusting fatty this time last year.

And unless my parents tell the truth, I’ll be on drugs (and skinny) for the rest of my (short) life 

#itsnotaboutthedrugs

@Gemma_Stalked

Things That Make Me Happy

Ok, watching The Happiness Film I SkyArtsHD.

The bloke trying to be happy had made a list of what makes him happy every day. And he’s going to check if he’s done these activities each day. 

I’m going to try to

1) Think one think that I’m grateful for. Bird, song,  rainbow, snow, lucky penny, nice smile, compliment 

2) Spend half an hour with Orion minimum daily.

2) Spend half an hour with the bunnies each day, giving all three of them a 5 minute cuddle when I bring them in.

4) Compliment a stranger

5) Help someone with buggy, walking frame, giving up seats on public transport 

6) Send some naughty messages to someone who turns me on

7) Give a compliment 

8) Work hard to keep my relationships with R***, B**** from Drug Therapy who I haven’t seen for 2 years, A***** who I got Ron and Reg off, B****, K** and K*** from Rehab and hopefully D**, F****, D**** and U***** from work. M** from the JCP we're linked with. 

9) Stroke all the happy dogs and cats I see in the streets 

10) Look for lucky pennies

11) Continue to always be polite, thank bus drivers, offer my seat, help the elderly or those who are blind. The latter treat me like normal decent human. They can’t see it’s the terrible terrible junkie.

Tarot Reading 2015 - WOW, SO MUCH ALREADY TRUE!!

Future Influences

Dream world (the crazy world I lived in when so many people involved in stalker watch)

Imagination (again, relates to the above)

Occult powers (evil things my family did/permitted)

Subconscious (their behaviour increasing my drug use)

Dreams (of escaping them, via suicide at the time, now moving ... mind you there’s an update on this)

Uncertainty (would I live? Would I survive their abuse)

Emotional crisis (lost everything and then my family dropped me too)

Clear sky’s, sun & warmth (I’m hopeful this is my move)

Negative Feelings

Strength (had to be to go through all that abuse!!)

Growth (Longreach, decision to leave London and be with my sober friends ... which they may have ruined now..,)

Travel (Longreach and hopefully returning to Devon)

Tests (all the fucking abuse from my family when I fucking needed them)

Challenges (see above)

Hurdles (again... everything they do to me)

Triumphant (the two documentary offers, the publishers and TV producers following me, the legal people following me...)

Achievement in career (sorting out another job after my fuck up June last year against all odds... e.g. - them doing things like making my alarms not go off and making sure my colleague all knew the bullshit they spread about me, meaning I knew I wouldn’t be kept on after my probabtion, regardless of smashing my targets month in month out)

Good News (hopefully getting to tell the truth!! I’ve had two documentary producers contact me. And unlike them, I’m happy to be congruent and let the world know until mid 2014, they were decent fucking people, and yet when I actually needed them, they turned to the most scummiest, disgusting, evil, nasty, pathetic low life’s ever.)

Fulfilment of Ambitions (getting the truth told) 

Victory (getting them prosecuted)

Solution to problems (them going to jail)

Overcoming opposition (letting everyone know it’s my family who are the evil scum bags not me)

Satisfaction (all of the above)

Envy (them... of me obviously) 

Family & Friends

Constant work needed to achieve (I believe this is constant work needed to get my family prosecuted)

Success (to the above. Yay!)

Change is coming (me escaping, them in jail)

Past brings rewards (their lies and abuse, makes for an excellent book/documentary and for me ££)

New money (again, above)

Hopes & Ideals

Lesson learned (me using... or them abusing. As long as the truth is told, I don’t mind either)

Material and spiritual triumph, happy ending (I’m praying to god I can move and be happy, however, I recon until the truth is told, it’ll still be a battle... coz it’s CLEARLY not about the drugs. It’s about them abusing me until I kill my self to protect their reputations... but 4 versus one, hasn’t beaten me yet)

End of chapter (my move, them in prison)

Joy (for me and my pets!)

TBC