After smacking the targets at work last month with 141% new starters, 110% job starts, 100% people retained, coming higest in staff feedback surveys (looked kinda fraudulent.. I haven’t done ONE on myself yet! Swear!) and bizarrely enough topping ‘compliance’ chart at 91% (how the fuck!!?! I’m soooo ‘slightly’ inappropriate... fuck me, I am such a fluke at my job!), I am super glad to have a new, FULL TIME, colleague.
Kinda gutted I’m leaving, coz she’s so amazingly nice. I’d love to keep in contact with her! She’s like the same as me!!!
So, both single (well I assume she is) girls, own our properties, drink the same wine, have a left arm tattoo... god, I love her already and it’s been a week.
She wants to party with me, and is pissed I’m leaving! J** (the one who hated me... initially... till I kept topping his stupid leagues, which I told him I would!) and A**, must have been singing my praises, as from day dot, she was begging me to stay and complimenting me!
She’s gonna pick it up really quickly. No employment experience, but this is good. I’m teaching her my ways. I really wish someone did this to me when I started.
I’m glad they’ve realised part time clearly wasn’t working. When my old colleague was off sick, we’d have candidates who had turned up x 2-3 times, only to be turned away.
New girl, fucking BLAM. Already might have some Job Outcomes from her caseload. Very receptive of any advice. I’ll over hear something, and she doesn’t mind if I turn around and interject.
Which I WISH I had. N***** (girl I took over from) was nice to me, but her smiles were through gritted teeth. That’s not to say she wouldn’t have grown to love me, like the rest, or maybe we just weren’t compatible... but that’s life. N***** just threw me in the deep end. I was glad it was quiet when I started.
A next EA from another office is now doing a day in Stockwell... and again, I think he’ll be talking about my ‘magic’. I am funny... either unintentionally or I’m sarcastic and dry. Especially towards J**... but first impressions count, and scathing reports about me ‘moving too much’ have left their mark. I just don’t think he’s gotta clue how much work the little people do.
So, I had a good laugh with him. Told him I was like white noise, he would be able to ignore my constant chatter soon.. to which others agreed. Told him we were the best office! Which we are. I spent £65 on pizza for everyone Friday to celebrate my house completing. Stuck a picture on our work ‘Facebook’ type thing, with a comment saying ‘this is what happens when you leave your PC unlocked at Stockwell’... which is running threat. Data protection, leave it unlocked and someone will email the whole office, offering them all lunch, pretending to be you.
Then.. he saw my magic. Which is engaging with customers and helping them. So P******* had an interview... BLAM, she’s got a work trial Thursday!!
Sooo much hard work, on both accounts! He saw us hi-five each other, hug and scream like girls at a pop band concert!
P******* was there on Friday, so joined us for pizza. She’s my candidate. So, her offer of going to the pub if she got it was genuine. I know she a bit rusty on knowledge, but when they see her work, she’ll get a job offer.
And the candidate working with me on a CV whilst this happened, saw the results of my hard work. He disengaged for ages. When he was new, I was new. It didn’t work at the time. So, I made his CV proper BLAM, and he was all revved up to come in, work hard and get a job.
When E****** (CV guy) left, I did an over exaggerated ‘phew’ gesture. M* (EA from other office), was clearly impressed and congratulated me!
I’ve told the other providers on project I’ll be leaving at some point. The one I’m friendly with presumed it was due to stress. I replied I actually love my job, with the candidates. I hate the number of excel spreadsheets I’m asked to fill in and the management.
But, once I’ve gone, I would still pop back... and volunteer.. only my current caseload. Like the top 10
I have to admit, my success, is mainly a fluke. Partly due to my OCD and the organisation need. Partly my ADHD and the ability to do two things at once... but mostly a fluke.
Oh... biggie.. one dual language colleague... and one very telling comment. Talking about starting smoking at college and that it was weed I started smoking regularly.. and he said ‘no crack’ to which the other dual language, new EA started laughing and gave a glance...
Opppppsssss slip up.
Guys, I’m psychic! I can feel the cringy, I’ve-fucked-up vibe radiating from you!!!!
And, besides, I react completely different from what you would expect a ‘crack head’ to react. I’m quiet, chilled and my head slows down. Unless you’ve experienced the chaos of my head, you can’t really comment. I ain’t a crazy crack head, I don’t rob and steal, I don’t live in shit.
I’ve had to work fucking hard to prove this though... due to the deformation of character my own ‘family’ bestowed upon me even though I was endeavouring to secure employment.
Sunday was a bitch.
‘You picked me up when I fell. You wiped my tears and held me when I cried’
My head was flooded with
‘You kicked me when I fell and needed you. You walked away and carried on abusing me when I cried’
BUT... it’s not me who is a bad person. So ashamed. So let down. So broken when I allow myself to feel.... so I don’t.
N** is still out! And it’s been lovely!! I’ve struggled a bit with housework, but coming home to an empty house! Bliss!
Drinking with my R***. Bliss.
No crack arriving at 1am on a work night. No suddenly smelling brown and realising he’s rolled a heroin spliff (I have asked he doesn’t bring it to my house... I cannot smoke it.. I hate my preferred choice of admin, so just ask he doesn’t bring at all... he still did!)
No concerns my handbag is being nosed through.
No conversations which go
Me ‘where’s my Xxxxxx’
N ‘oh, I told you I had loaned it’
Me ‘no you fucking didn’t’
Such piss poor disrespect. He owes me a ladder and an iPhone 7.
To be honest I was just waiting for him to fuck up.
Yes, I am eternally grateful for his help when I was broken. I will most likely give him some ££ when I get my house money. Well not give him to spend on crack. I’ll pay off some of his debt.
But, he’s proven he is what he is... a crack head.
I’m using WAY less. I only use what I want to use... no heroin for example. I’m only paying for one (as N gets a LOT of money in benefits and now wages, but it never lasts more than a few days... what he spends it on.. I don’t know. Probably loans £150 and only gets £75 back).
None of my stuff vanishing, only to hear.. I told you I was borrowing XYZ. I’m glad he’s not doing painting and decorating or else I’d be low on a lot more tools.
And he had the cheek to call me a junkie when he gave me some sleeping tablets the other day???
Gosh, my quickie is fucking essay.
Night with R*** was hot!
Well a boring blog post, mainly for me!
No comments:
Post a Comment