I have a little hope!!
After my last post the lack of minor psychosis when I got home!! Maybe my family realise the huge amount of unnecessary damage they have caused. Maybe they understand my sadness at the loss of my career. Maybe they realise making their daughter the most famous junkie since Amy Winehouse, when she had only fucked up so minimally wasn't the best idea.
Dad, honesty will mean I can love you again.
Mum, honesty will mean your children won't avoid each other for ever.
Daniel, I know you hate me, but honesty and getting a chance to see P** will encourage me to stay clean.
I'd love to be god mother. I promise, should anything happen to you, C, both grandparents, all your friends, I'd never touch a drug again should I be responsible for P.
The truth means you admitting you made some fucked up mistakes.
But it means getting your daughter back.
Otherwise, I'll be absent at birthdays, Christmas and celebrations.
Only Precious P will get spoilt from me. If this is the future, please tell her the truth about me. I have a disability in which 80% of unmedicated adults self medicate. I am not unusual. I am not a terrible junkie. Most ADHD sufferers do the same.
In fact, before PP inherits my house she'll be required to read my blog.
P, I'm not the bad evil Aunty I've been painted out to be. Maybe you'll have ADHD. Some times I wish you do, cause I'm sure the others will understand my condition better and take it seriously if you do. But other times I don't. You're too special to have this infliction.
I've never chased a high.
I've chased normal.
God bless to all who suffer.
Jay x
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