Each day I awake to the most horrendous feeling. My limbs feel as if they belong to someone other than me. Someone large and cumbersome. My coordination is non-existent. I stumble to the bathroom, bumping into sharp furniture corners, leaving a smattering of deep crimson scratches, that fade to purple, like the summer sky.
Unlike most people, my drowsy demeanour doesn’t evaporate as time passes. If I want to remain awake, I need to take my medication. Prior to consumption, I am bitter, twisted and angry. I will snap at you, for no reason. I am known for my catchphrase ‘I hate mornings!’
Upon entering the bathroom I quickly swallow my medication. The tablet leave a tingling sensation in my mouth, numbing my tongue.
I then head back to the comfort of my bed, grabbing a fizzy, caffeinated drink upon my way.
Unlike the majority of people, caffeine and stimulant, create and welcoming calming effect upon me. I have even got drowsy after drinking strong coffee.
You see, my head is different from yours. Because I have ADHD. Therefore when I consume substances which are known for stimulation, I calm down. It also works in reverse. The day after consuming sedatives, I also am aware of an increase in hyperactivity.
Unlike most people, I go from semi unconsciousness to bubbly and active within 10 minutes. My Ritalin kicks in and marks the start of another day of relentless energy and constant chaos which fizzes through my head, exploding in my brain, sending ripples of anxiety through me.
Disorganisation is guaranteed. I religiously utilise alarms, calendar and reminders. Without it, even my regular appointments would be forgot. Nearly every morning, the same routine, of hunting for my keys and Oyster Card, consumes much more time than it would for someone without ADHD.
Arriving on time is another hurdle I doubt I will ever achieve. The frequent distractions ultimately result in me gaining a reputation for tardiness.
As I intend to use the bathroom and wash my face, I will notice my housemate has left the milk out. Without thinking I divert to the kitchen. Then I wipe down the surfaces, put rubbish in the bin, cups in the sink. Returning to the front room, I suddenly remember I had intended to use the bathroom!
Everything and anything distracts me. Each time a passer by walks past my window, my head automatically turns. Similar to someone with Tourette’s who ticks, I have no control over this.
I also have unbelievable levels of impulsivity. I ended up with 2nd degree burns whilst working in McDonald’s when a lamp, which kept the cooked fries warm, exploded and without thinking I picked up a piece of the shattered glass. I cannot remember a time where I have been able to walk past a ‘wet paint’ sign without touching it.
I am a rare example of an ADHD sufferer. Around 10% of children are diagnosed with ADHD. Boys are three times more likely to get a diagnosis than girls, as boys are predominantly hyper, opposed to inattentive, a symptom more frequent with girls.
Those who have met me, will have no problem agreeing, whilst I may have inattentive symptoms, clearly I am predominantly hyper.
However, I do not see my disability as a hindrance, regardless of the unavoidable situations I have encountered due to my ADHD. I find my ADHD is akin to a super power!
Whilst, ADHD is a familiar excuse for inappropriate behaviour, in prisons, PRU schools and areas where poverty is prevalent. There is also a secret underclass of those with the disability, who generally stumble through life, doing ok.
Metaphorically its a coin toss. Research states ADHD sufferers are either likely to have a below average, or above average IQ. The former get suspended from school, the teachers unwilling to put the extra mile in, for students who are unlikely to secure funding for the school in the form of good GCSE grades.
The latter, are kept on at school. Although their bad behaviour is exhausting for any form of authority, their ability to effortlessly be awarded with good grades means their erratic behaviour is tolerated.
