I’ve been addicted 2 drugs 4 yrs! Self medicating 4 ADHD. Made the mistake of turning 2 my family. 1failed detox later they told lies 2 The Sun. Instead of researching ADHD, addiction/recovery, decided to try make me think I’m made. Despite completing rehab, moving back to my house & securing work. They continue to abuse & torture me. My blog is a mixture of diary entries, emails to my DART, lyrics, with some story type tales. Welcome to my world. There’s no turning back!
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Wednesday, 17 January 2018
❤️ OMG, IS THIS REAL
Sunday, 14 January 2018
❤️ 2006 - A Poem For You
@Gemma_Stalked
www.thefamousjunkie.blogspot.com
JayElle Famosjunkey
#iwillbefamous #thetruth #Itsnotaboutthedrugs
❤️ Bio - From Birth To 16
Found this in my email draft box. Clearly it was written for a reason. I don't know what now.
* Born 16th June 1981
* Brother was born 19th April 1984. It soon became apparent he was my mother's favourite, which I longed to be. I was my nan's (father's side) favourite as she had two boys. Even she noticed the unfair treatment. Frequently I was reprimanded for his mistakes and trouble. However we got on well u till he was 21 and got with his current girlfriend.
* At school it was quickly noted I was intelligent, but disruptive. I was above average without putting any effort in
* I was bullied from 5-10, for having sticky our ears. Aged 10 I had them pinned back.
* Aged 7 I was completing the Mensa puzzles in the newspapers
* Aged 9 I had further confirmation of my mother's preference for my brother. I found her diary and read an entry saying 'I think Daniel will pass his karate grading and Gemma will fail'. The following week simply stated 'Gemma passed Daniel failed'
* Aged 10-17 I did karate and was a black belt. I fought for England three times, and won a gold and two silver medals. I was also the girls national fighting champion. And captain of the girls team fighting champion. I eventually gave up karate aged 17 due to the fact I had began to dabble in drugs. People were randomly selected for drug testing during the competitions.
* One of the instances where it was apparent I was not my mothers favourite child, was when we visited some friends in Newcastle. We arrived late and was staying in a bungalow. We entered the room which you were able to walk through and lead on to a further room. Thinking there was another room at the end my mother quickly said 'this is where Gemma will sleep'. Upon entering the other room we discovered it was a cold draughty conservatory with nothing but an old sofa. My mother quickly added 'no this is where Gemma will sleep Daniel will have the other room'. We could have easily topped and tailed in the proper bed. However I was placed on the old sofa with nothing to keep me warm bath my father's jacket.
* I am well travelled and have been to Minorca, Majorca, Tenerife, Furtenvetura, Costa Brava, Costa Dorada, Costa Del Sol, Rhodes, Crete, Corfu, Cyprus, Marmaris, Bodrum, France, Germany, Prague, Portugal, Dublin, Cork, Florida, Dominican Republic.
* Aged 11 I began to gain weight and was bigger then my friends. Not big by today standards. I was also bullied for this as well as being spotty from 11-13
* By high school I was frequently in trouble for my behaviour. I was often told my behaviour was erratic. I would finish my work quickly and get top grades, but then I would distract the rest of the class from completing their work. I spent a lot of time outside of the classroom is due to this.
#iwillbefamous #thetruth #Itsnotaboutthedrugs @Gemma_Stalked
Www.Thefamousjunkie.Blogspot.Com
❤️ 14th January 2018 - Update
#iwillbefamous #thetruth #Itsnotaboutthedrugs @Gemma_Stalked
Www.Thefamousjunkie.Blogspot.Com
Monday, 8 January 2018
❤️ 1998 - 2015 - Once Upon a Time - My Journey To Legal High Hell
@Gemma_Stalked
www.thefamousjunkie.blogspot.com
JayElle Famosjunkey
#iwillbefamous #thetruth #Itsnotaboutthedrugs
❤️ December 1998 - Once Upon a Time - Ecstasy
Pills these days are crap. I've taken a few in the last 5 years, and literally fell asleep 30 minutes after taking one. The best you could hope for these days is a decent amount of speed. No MDMA what so ever! The last decent pill I ever had, must have been around 2005/2006 when I went to Ministry of Sound, in Elephant and Castle on Boxing day. I got chatting to a DJ who worked in Spain. He was in the possession of some good old proper pills. Since then I've only wasted my money on crap.
It was New Years Eve 1998/1999 when I had my first taste. I was working in good old McDonald's whilst at college and a group of us were all going up town to some club one of my colleagues had free tickets for.
My new boyfriend, who too worked in McDonald's decided not to come, we had only been together for about a month, so I thought 'fuck it, screw him, I'm having a good time!'
We all met in the local pub and began the mammoth drinking session. It was around 7pm and me, my best friend C******* and my colleagues had all finished work for the day and had changed from out grease dented grey and green stripped uniforms into our best glad rags. The air hung heavily with a thick smoke from cigarettes as we downed our snake bites, martini's and ciders. I was beginning to feel rather drunk after a couple of hours drinking, and around 10pm, we hit the tubes to head for the club.
'Hey, J**, can you put this cigarette box in your knickers babes?' R****** asked.
'Yeah, sure, what's in it?' I replied curiously. Knowing it would be illicit substances my heart began to pound with anticipation.
'Just some weed, some coke, and a few pills' R****** replied.
My head began to spin, and it wasn't from the alcohol. Although I was pretty scared of pills after all the Leah Betts incident , I was also drunk, pissed off with my boyfriend's refusal to join me and curious about these pills.
'Can I buy one off you?' I asked with excitement. Before I had even considered any negative consequences.
'Sure, £10'
I got my money out and promptly received my treasure. £10 was expensive back then, but I didn't know any better.
We quickly changed tubes to the Victoria line, whilst I took the Silk Cut box from R****** and slipped it into my knickers, pushing it in between my legs, so the rectangular addition didn't show under my tight, Lycra red halter neck dress which shimmered under the harsh fluorescent tube train lights.
In the pit of my stomach the most euphoric ball of love was beginning to radiate throughout my body, my veins and right to my head.
I knew I was in no state to be mingling with the bar staff, I felt fucked, and most probably looked it too. C******* was my best friend, and although she was almost paralytic drunk, she was my saviour. Perfectly able to understand my messed up message and pretty soon after returned with a bottle of water.
I opened the bottle and knocked it back, however no sooner did I swallow the water, quenching my impending thirst, did I find it coming back up again. I knew I had minutes to get to the toilet. I raced the the though the club, pushing through the growing crowd of revellers, just managing to get my head over the bowl before I threw my guts up.
But unlike alcohol sickness this was good. Before throwing up my stomach had felt like a water balloon, swaying through me with every movement.
As I left the cubical, I did the obligatory rinse hands under water and caught my reflection in the mirror. My pupils had exploded into deep black holes. You couldn't even see the green of my eyes, just black. It made me look quite pretty if you could ignore the weird thing I was doing with my jaw.
I rushed back to my friends, 'C*******, I love you so much', I said upon reaching them. I wrapped my arms around C******* and kissed her on the cheek. 'I love you too' C******* slurred. She was still drinking, and barley able to stand.
R******, who was now buzzing as well, came over to me and wrapped his long lanky arms around me. R****** was an attractive black guy, not too dark, but about 6'5 and really skinny. He was smartly dressed in trousers and a shirt which he wore with the top few buttons open exposing the coffee coloured smooth skin adoring his toned torso.
'Yeah baby, fucking loving it' I replied, returning the hug, hanging from his shoulders. His aftershave now mixed with a faint man smell. Beads of sweat dripped from his forehead and as I embraced him, the damp patches of sweat which soaked his shirt began to soak my dress in turn.
I had never felt so much love in my life, the warm feeling in my tummy was alien to me, but I liked it. I spent the rest of the night systematically drinking water to quench my thirst, dancing and throwing up until my stomach was empty again.
Around 3.30am we headed home. One of the side effects of ecstasy is you really need to piss. A lot. For some reason ecstasy heats you up, drying out your mouth, so you drink a lot, hence filling your bladder. And then you need to pee. It's not rocket science is it!
Thankfully I was pulling up my knickers and I managed to reply 'Ha, much bigger and much blacker than that!'
We jumped on the night bus and headed back to G*****'s house. I had to be at work at midday new years day, and it was already gone 4am. I gladly took the offer of some spliff, knowing I needed to come down off this buzz, but some how I knew my attempts where in vein. I wasn't coming down for some time yet.
Around 6am I went with L**** back to her house where I was staying, and we climbed into her single bed, top and tale-ing to save space. I laid there dozing but not sleeping until the alarm went off at 10.30am.
'L****, I've had about 30 minutes sleep' I exclaimed.
'You still looked fucked love' L**** replied. My pupils were still abnormally large. Oh well, work had to be done.
I did manage to do my 8 hour shift. God knows how I did, but I did. I was still dancing around in the kitchen, frying burgers and eating food was out of the question!
When I finally got home to my parents house I managed to sleep properly, and boy did I sleep. And when I woke I knew that this little magic pill, this pill that made my night amazing, was going to become a big part of my life.
And a big part of my life it certainly was.
Thanks for reading,
@Gemma_Stalked
www.thefamousjunkie.blogspot.com
JayElle Famosjunkey
#iwillbefamous #thetruth #Itsnotaboutthedrugs
❤️ Once Upon A Time - 1994 - 1995 - School Friends
UPDATE
01/2008 - Adapted from Diary of a Crack Princess
Hello all my non existent readers I know you will come eventually. I will email some other bloggers shortly and ask them to give me a cheeky add!
I've been pretty busy recently. But, I have been sooo lazy at work. I'm finding it hard to muster the motivation to do minuscule amounts of work! This is not good J**, and I do keep telling myself this! Like a mantra, over and over. As you may already know, the UK is experiencing a 'Credit Crunch', which basically means 'Recession' in a flowery, Ben & Jerry's ice cream topping kinda way. I'm sure there's at least 200 people willing to do my job, who'll work a damn sight harder with a £15,000 pay cut.
So I better pull my socks up.
Anyhow, to my story. We will return to 2001 in the next post, but before we do, I feel it's important to give you some background information first. And that starts with one of my bestest girls, the one, the only, the amazing, F****
I had agreed to meet my one of my best friends from school, F**** the night after I had scored the LSD. F**** and I first became acquainted at the tender age of 13. We had just started our convent high school and bonded over a neutral love of winding our maths teacher up. Not only did we share birthdays one month and one day apart, but we also had comparable philosophies that lesson time wasn't meant for learning, but pissing around. Our fate was finally sealed a year later when both our best friends deserted us. They had committed the heinous crime of becoming best friends themselves!
Being in J*'s form class, our friendship formed soon after starting high school. F**** and E*** had been close since they started their private primary school aged 5. We all hung in a group of four, often with a 5th or 6th member, but we were the social glue entwining us together. F**** must have hurt when E***'s alliances changed from her to J*. They began going out, and even had pet names for each other. Each one of their secret giggles or private jokes provided us both with a stab to the heart, tinged with jealousy and sadness for the close friendships we had loss.
Naturally, we clung to each other for companionship. If E*** slept over at J*'s, I would go to F****'s Soon it was us walking arm in arm down the corridors, singing, laughing and giggling to jokes only we would understand. Our bond had grown so strong, and our love for each other was already immeasurable. Soon, the occasional catty comments, half jokey, half insulting ceased. Our negativity, the general teenage negativity we all get, was now directed at the traitors, J* and E***. Or Chocolate Moose and Honey Bunny... Their chosen pet names.
F**** decided to she wanted to stick a metaphorical two fingers up to Chocolate Moose and Honey Bunny. They had been spending more and more time together alone during school break times. F**** and I just reciprocated their actions doing the same. It was a cold, wet December afternoon and F**** was already waiting outside my science class when the bell rung for afternoon break. I was in the top set and F**** the bottom. I think their teacher was just as eager for them to leave as F**** and her classmates were, so early dismissal was common. We linked arms and headed for the hall. The skies were filled with a dark inky purple directly above the school and in the distance it appeared to crash the line of soft gray that ran along the horizon. The wind howled blowing up the skirts of the girls outside, their shrieks only drawing unwanted attention... A storm be brewing! Through the windows we could see the first large fat plops of water exploding on their impact and the quiet rumble of thunder was quickly getting louder.
F**** was eager to hand me the letter she had written me, and of course, I handed her the same. It was back in the days before mobile phones and texting on silent. Writing letters to our friends who weren't in our class was the norm. I unwrapped hers quickly and it was folded four. Each fold contained another message.
1 - F 4 A & J 4 T (in love hearts
2 - Miss Casey is a boring stupid
twat... Is she even qualified?
3 - E*** is a stiggy twat who looks like a drug addict cos she doesn't eat
She's a fucking skinny rat (she was skinny!)
She has stupid 80's perm hair, greasy wet look gel, white ghost skin and acne (which was a true description)
Then next to a stick man a speak bubble saying - I'm a stig
The last fold revealed the letter....
Dear Bum Chum,
I hope your writing to me to, otherwise U R A BITCH!!! Hehehe. Ok, Im stuck in boooring biology and Ive come to the conclusion that Miss Casey is the actual reincarnation of the Devil. She's 1 thick mother fucker. She's asking questions and keeps looking at me, but that goodie 2 shoes L*** keeps putting her hand up. We're not supposed to be writing shit, but I am, hahaha bitch.
Im glad you got with T**. A**** told me he's fancied you for AGES. I am going to get A**** into bed. He liked me before that psyco bitch L****. We almost had sex, but there was no condom and I dont wanna bun yet. He still calls me. Ha! Ha L**** Ha!
OH MY GOD.. I forgot to tell you. Remember Friday at club, when E*** and J* didnt bother coming, even though they kept asking everyone to come all day. Well thats bull shit what E*** said bout her brother being in a fight. I went to the Arndale after school yesterday and guess who was there.... S******!!! No black eye, no cut, NOTHING. Lying bitches.
They're not telling the truth about the nightclub. Who would let them in. J* maybe, but only cos she's fat! HAHAHA!! She came to mine and we went to the park to get pissed and she wanted to borrow a nice top. Y*****'s a size 14 and NOTHING fitted her! She was too fat. The only top was this one baggy and you tie it in a knot at the back. On J* it was tight and I had to use a hair band to tie it up cos not enough material.
And E***'s an anorexic twig. Her knees basically stick out of two broom handles.
I hate their stupid names. J*'s called Chocolate Moose cos they had it for pudding, and E*** called Honey Bunny cos J* gave her some rank chocolate rabbit she had left from Easter. Skank.
I think we should have nick names to. That will piss them off. Youre now my
Cos I got you one from the tuckshop last week.
Ok, gotta go, Miss Casey asked us to answer questions 1-9 and I have no clue what questions!
Love You
F****
The break was short and during our mid-make-up top-up the bell rung. It commanded us like soldiers to our final two hour lesson. Again separated, this time for maths. As soon as I took my seat I began composing my reply.
Hey F****,
Ok, Miss Turner has made me sit on my own today. No matter who she puts me with, we both end up pissing around. Weird though, cos they all like messing around, but when I dont sit there, there always good.
T** rang me last night and my fucking dad answered. So I told my parents its just a friend who I get on with from club. Nosey parkers. T** wants just me and him to go to the park for a walk next Friday. So lets see hey.... Snog fest?
L**** is a bitch, she knew you and A*** had a thing. But she is a slag so cant help it. Didnt know you wanted A*** though. What about C****?
I NEW E*** and J* were lying. Oh Oh, S****** was in a fight and came home just as we were leaving. Oh Oh, he took us to a club to thank us for staying.
E*** cant even buy fags.
Ok my nick name for you is Cadbury's Creme Egg, cos you ate one when you were pissed at my house.
Lots of Love
Dime Bar
Upon reading that letter, our friendship was sealed. Although we didn't see each other much from 17-21, and stopped speaking 21-25, we're good friends still to this day (Jan 2008)
F**** had fallen pregnant at 15 and had her little girl at 16. She hid her pregnancy well, but at 7 months gone, two months before our GCSEs in June, F****'s secret was discovered at our Convent Private school and expulsion was the result. F****'s world was turned upside down.
Right in the middle of it all, little C******* was born in June 1997. C******* was beautiful with wispy blond hair and deep blue eyes. Like F**** she had the palest of white skin. Typical Irish complexion as not only was F**** from Irish decent, but the 14 year old father was too. T***** (that's the father by the way!) had been a bit of a fling. One of many F**** had already experienced at 16.