My father moaned about the time I gave him my mobile phone upgrade for his 40th bday. At the time I had just been made redundant, and my upgrade was worth a lot of money. Well now it's almost my bday and he's abusing me.
Don't know why my father and my brother are so cruel. They should protect me. All i needed was help. Yes, they could have been pissed at my relapses, but just one person who was there for me.
Why do they enjoy abusing me?
At least when my mother is on abuse duty, it isn't as bad.
I AM a human
I HAVE feelings
I HURT
I'm so ashamed at their behaviour.
So sad
So broken
So worthless
I would love to know what research proves gas lighting and abuse is successful for stopping substance abuse.... In those with ADHD... Coz for me, instead of hating drugs, I just hate them.
My addiction to crack and heroin made me hate heroin and dislike crack addiction.
The last 4 years has made me love the respite drugs bring. Any hatred is directed at them. Why not let me hate drugs? I don't even hate ethylphenidate. If I was left alone I have no doubt that I would.
They could have been angry at my relapses, distance coz I was using, ashamed at my addiction but been there. and when drugs began to hurt me, I would have gone to them. Maybe just for a hug. But I would have.
And I would dislike drugs and not them.
Even though 'some' harm has come from drugs, due to their malicious behaviour I hate them 100% and love drugs 100%
And that makes me hate them even more.
They took away my chance of recovery. This cudda been my victory lap, if I wasn't on the verge of relapse.
Now this process of getting to hate drugs myself will start again in Plymouth.
Don't know why my father and my brother are so cruel. They should protect me. All i needed was help. Yes, they could have been pissed at my relapses, but just one person who was there for me.
Why do they enjoy abusing me?
At least when my mother is on abuse duty, it isn't as bad.
I AM a human
I HAVE feelings
I HURT
I'm so ashamed at their behaviour.
So sad
So broken
So worthless
I would love to know what research proves gas lighting and abuse is successful for stopping substance abuse.... In those with ADHD... Coz for me, instead of hating drugs, I just hate them.
My addiction to crack and heroin made me hate heroin and dislike crack addiction.
The last 4 years has made me love the respite drugs bring. Any hatred is directed at them. Why not let me hate drugs? I don't even hate ethylphenidate. If I was left alone I have no doubt that I would.
They could have been angry at my relapses, distance coz I was using, ashamed at my addiction but been there. and when drugs began to hurt me, I would have gone to them. Maybe just for a hug. But I would have.
And I would dislike drugs and not them.
Even though 'some' harm has come from drugs, due to their malicious behaviour I hate them 100% and love drugs 100%
And that makes me hate them even more.
They took away my chance of recovery. This cudda been my victory lap, if I wasn't on the verge of relapse.
Now this process of getting to hate drugs myself will start again in Plymouth.
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