❤️ 09th June 2015 - THE TRUTH!!!!!

Fuck me, I've been told the truth.

The Junkettes - Readers of The Sun

The person whom I believed to be my best friend... Well he conveniently snapped me smoking crack.

So the whole of the UK (majority, The Sun is probably the most read newspaper), believes I am a crack head.

This is why I'm famous. And it's damn unfair. Yes I am a junkie. But I suppose 'girl addicted to ethylphenidate who has ADHD is banging it up' wouldn't evoke as much hatred as 'CRACK HEAD, LET'S MAKE HER THINK SHE'S CRAZY'

When I was told everything fell into place. It's so sad, this is why even when I'm clean I have stalkers. Everyone is ready and waiting to knock me down. Not one person will help me.

I want my concerta back. Until I have a date for rehab this isn't happening. My drugs team are messing me around. Giving me a new excuse each time. I'd go detox today if someone would get me in their (you have to be clean before rehab and I need to detox from buprenorphine).

All this madness does is make me use.

My parents could have paid for private rehab months ago. 

I don't like having to use... I like choosing to use. The only drug free time in my life was when I was on concerta (Ritalin).

I cannot fight against the whole of the UK. I doubt I can wait 3-4 months for rehab.

There's always another way out though. It makes me sad contemplating it, but the thought gives me so much peace in my head.

My rabbit has bonded so Mr Fyver and Mrs Fluffy no longer need me.

My cat Orion has found a new home. 

There's nothing left for me really.

Why would any parent want their child to think they're mad. Why? 

I wish I had the kind who sends their kids to rehab.

I wish mine understood it's not as easy as just stopping.

I wish they had ADHD so they knew how my brain feels.

I wish they would help me.

I wish they would tell the truth about me.

Most of all, I wish they would give me a break.

I may find it possible to forgive my mother. Never my father. He is evil, pure evil. When he did the nasty evil things to me I would hear her crying.

Each time another nasty thing happens to me I think my mummy allows this. 

If anyone can help me get into rehab please let me know. All I want is my Ritalin, rehab and a chance to tell the truth.

I know I need help. I know I have problems, I can't do it alone. I'm running out of fight now.

Desperately sad J (I'm changing my name) the junkie or as you know me, the crack head.