Ok... I'm keeping this post a draft.
I kinda like someone. One of my candidates from my last job. Actually he was my favourite candidate. So, bar when I was off work sick, and when he was on the two week IT course, from October until April I saw the dude at least 1-2 a week.
He was actually a bit of a pain at times.. Not in a bad way I guess, but he was a bit needy and I think he's got mild autism, coz little things which 'could' wait, had to be dealt with immediately.
Also, even now he's not big on eye contact... Or any contact. Like, he'd tolerate a hug, but unlike damn nearly every other guy I've hugged, I'd be lucky to get a couple of taps on my back.
He was like the ONLY male candidate who didn't fucking flirt with me.
And he's kinda innocent.
And, whilst he's crap with paper work and keeping his finances in order, he's really fucking intelligent when it comes to DIY, bloke type things. Like really damn good at it. But because he's dsylexic and crap at paper stuff and computers, he really has no idea just how intelligent he is.
And.... He's got that Trevor McDonald thing going on!!!!!!!! In fact, he makes Trevor McDonald's eyes look crap in comparrison.
Yeah, proper blue eyes and proper black (not mixed race) skin.
So, he came and helped me fix my bathroom floor. I say helped me. I mean he did it. And I've only ever seen him really cold weather.. And he'd be riding his bike, with 10 million layers and carrying about x 4 the amount of shit I haul around. So seeing him in the nice weather was a change. And I swear he's lost weight....
Anyway, as you call probably guess, from the way I have lost the ability to write eloquently, I'm having a bit of a school girl crush on him.
So, I haven't heard much from him since he left mine Saturday. Naturally my ADHD brain is freaking he hates me.... And, I was a bit of a twat self harming on Friday, so he was witness to fresh cut marks on my arms and burns on my legs.... And I left a rather anorexic note up on my fridge talking about getting a high from starving as I couldn't have drugs.
And.. I got wasted Friday, so when he arrived I was in my underwear asleep... House was a mess... Not good.
But he left his charging port. So I have contacted him about returning it. And yesterday, as I struggle to make phone calls anyway, so making one and it not being answered is even worse, I emailed him. And said I kinda liked him. And he's replied but I haven't got the courage to read it. I will in a bit.
Ok read it... He didn't tell me to fuck off which was a start. Didn't say anything though other than I have to call him. And I hate making fucking calls.
He did end it with an x though.
Shit I feel like I'm at school again!
I kinda like someone. One of my candidates from my last job. Actually he was my favourite candidate. So, bar when I was off work sick, and when he was on the two week IT course, from October until April I saw the dude at least 1-2 a week.
He was actually a bit of a pain at times.. Not in a bad way I guess, but he was a bit needy and I think he's got mild autism, coz little things which 'could' wait, had to be dealt with immediately.
Also, even now he's not big on eye contact... Or any contact. Like, he'd tolerate a hug, but unlike damn nearly every other guy I've hugged, I'd be lucky to get a couple of taps on my back.
He was like the ONLY male candidate who didn't fucking flirt with me.
And he's kinda innocent.
And, whilst he's crap with paper work and keeping his finances in order, he's really fucking intelligent when it comes to DIY, bloke type things. Like really damn good at it. But because he's dsylexic and crap at paper stuff and computers, he really has no idea just how intelligent he is.
And.... He's got that Trevor McDonald thing going on!!!!!!!! In fact, he makes Trevor McDonald's eyes look crap in comparrison.
Yeah, proper blue eyes and proper black (not mixed race) skin.
So, he came and helped me fix my bathroom floor. I say helped me. I mean he did it. And I've only ever seen him really cold weather.. And he'd be riding his bike, with 10 million layers and carrying about x 4 the amount of shit I haul around. So seeing him in the nice weather was a change. And I swear he's lost weight....
Anyway, as you call probably guess, from the way I have lost the ability to write eloquently, I'm having a bit of a school girl crush on him.
So, I haven't heard much from him since he left mine Saturday. Naturally my ADHD brain is freaking he hates me.... And, I was a bit of a twat self harming on Friday, so he was witness to fresh cut marks on my arms and burns on my legs.... And I left a rather anorexic note up on my fridge talking about getting a high from starving as I couldn't have drugs.
And.. I got wasted Friday, so when he arrived I was in my underwear asleep... House was a mess... Not good.
But he left his charging port. So I have contacted him about returning it. And yesterday, as I struggle to make phone calls anyway, so making one and it not being answered is even worse, I emailed him. And said I kinda liked him. And he's replied but I haven't got the courage to read it. I will in a bit.
Ok read it... He didn't tell me to fuck off which was a start. Didn't say anything though other than I have to call him. And I hate making fucking calls.
He did end it with an x though.
Shit I feel like I'm at school again!
No comments:
Post a Comment