But when can I go in? What is the waiting list currently standing at (weeks).
Whilst I’m super happy 9-5 now, my mental health is still very poor when I return to that house. I still get very negative thoughts and I wish my life would end.
It’s really hard, going from so happy to so sad. It’s exhausting. I’m still fighting against undertaking actions that will have severe negative consequences... but only when I’m in this house.
I definitely need a benzo detox, and unless I manage to get down to 2mg of subbie, a subbie Detox.
And whilst I may no longer have a serious physical addiction to alcohol (where I need to drink daily due to anxiety etc.), I’m still drinking way too much every other night.
I am also needing a high dose of buprenorphine. Between 8-12mg. I’m finding it hard to reduce. The problem is I can only purchase 8mg tablets and breaking them in to equal 2mgs is very hard. I want to be stabilised on at most 2mg.
I could do with starting a script. I’ll either be going home via Morden or Tooting. Can I get a script in either of the Boots chemists in those areas (I’m trying out going home via Morden tomorrow and then I’ll decide which route is better).
Have my blood test results come back yet?
I’ve got to see my ADHD doctor tomorrow.... you know I’ll pop in first. I’m not going to give you a time though so you can’t ensure you’re busy when I come 😀
Old - Hope J told you get well soon when you were off sick from me! Hope you’re better. When you’re sick, do you go to a doctor?? Or do doctors treat themselves? It must be like me going to an employment advisor when I was looking for work, as that’s what I do. It was weird as they couldn’t tell me nothing I didn’t already know. Does your doctor know your a doctor? Or are you like a mystery shopper secretly knowing when they make a mistake? Can you write you own scripts or is that illegal?... I know many doctors do... and then write anonymous articles for the telegraph or guardian about how they’re addicted to opiates...... maybe I should have worked hard at school and become a doctor.. I could prescribe a plethora of substances to myself and save a lot of money!
J - R*** isn’t in and I’m really depressed at home... it’s not good. Her out of office said email T but I’m too embarrassed... as last time we spoke it was work related.. I’ve already noticed a couple of people give me a second look, clearly recognising me from when I was doing good.
See you all tomorrow for my special unscheduled appointment!! That you’ll definitely all be free for 😀
Thanks for all your help and putting up with me!!
Your favourite, most troublesome, erratic, clients who has to be in the top 10 for number of red zones, which embarrassingly enough I’m actually proud of.
Jay x x
(Sorry I’ve had a super good day at work! Have done really well, so am one one of my slightly happy/manic moods! I’m back at this stupid house now so I’m sure I’ll be eyeing up the knife draw shortly! That’s a joke, I’d never slice my wrists!)
Sent from Jay’s iPhone
On 11 Oct 2017, at 12:58 pm, JL
wrote
Hi
How could we forget you.
Enlighten the provisional plan is for detox later this year when you are able to take time off work, and you're working with R presently.
Best wishes
J
From Jay
Sent: 11 October 2017 12:53
To: J
Cc; OB
Subject: Detox
Hi J
Any update. I’m ok with alcohol, but still drink every other day. I tend to get bad anxiety which leads to it.
still have a high benzo addiction and buprenorphine.
I have a company away day on the 19th November and cannot be absent for that date.
And Dr. P, happy to be phone free during detox. My phone really stressed me during my alcohol detox! Not good.
Please don’t forget about me
Kind regards
Jay
Sent from Jay’s iPhone
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