Well since the 19th April and my phone being hacked, my life
has become unbearable.
Worst of all... I almost had a friend. A good friend. A sober clean friend to go out for a drink with with.
My new colleague D**. She loved me until that weekend. Then the communication stopped. Now her and B***** always go outside to slag me off. Every time I hit a target.
All last week when I was late due to my alarm not going off.
Why would they destroy a friendship with a sober friend, I don’t know,
She has a lovely soul.
I hate being psychic as you can smile to my face, but I know your lying.
One day after work, B**** said to D**, lets walk to the station. I asked if I could join them. And the whole journey B**** was suddenly engrossed in a phone call and walking 10 feet ahead.
When ever I get a fucking delivery to work.... even those in fucking amazon boxes, someone will say ‘Jay is that your drugs’ or ‘Jay is that your weed?’
I know my alarms won’t go off next week and I’ll be late for work each day. Which just means they’ll hate me even more, and I can fuck the chance of getting a reference and doing similar work, which I love.
I ain’t starting from the bottom again, serving coffee or cleaning toilets. I can’t even webcam coz they fucked my computer. So I’m straight to strip clubs / escorting when I leave and this stupid house still isn’t sold.
This will finally make my parents happy!! I’ll be a dirty prostitute, how better can I fill their description of being a dirty junkie than selling my body.
My career is over... the sad thing is... I loved my career.
But as this fucking house sale hasn’t gone through (I doubt the sale is congruent!), I still need to earn £1,500 a month. And as I can’t get a reference... and I can’t have a PC (coZ that means I could fix my hacked phone), so webcam work is out of the question, stripping and prostitution is my only option.
Unless the house sale magically goes through. Unless I can sort out my phone. Unless I can move somewhere I feel safe and get a PC... I don’t have many other options.
I really wanna do it tomorrow. I did wanna finish my rabbit hutch... but I don’t think I can take anymore.
I think I’ll be buying a large canister of helium tomorrow. I don’t think you’ll hear from me again.
If I can leave my house and not be stalked.
If my phone magically unhacks itself
Sad thing is, my sober friend who wanted to rent a room from me... has stopped contacting me.
She’s obviously heard the dirty junkie lies. If I was living with a sober freak, I could hardly get wasted daily could I?
Right now, I’m gonna sell all my valuables. Buy a new phone if necessary, and spend the rest on drugs, for the most amazing binge before I kill myself.
I can’t see shit changing.
I’ve smoked 0.3g (£20) of white on Friday (haven’t used all week) and I’ve been abused horrifically due to this... well I’m absurd regardless. Whether sober, withdrawing from drugs.. whatever.. I can’t win.
I fucked up my last job, fair enough. THEY Fucked up my current job. For reasons I’ll never comprehend.
D**, you’re a lovely girl. I’m sorry the bullshit which they’ve said about me has destroyed the chance of us ever having a relationship. I would have loved to be your friend. You’ve got such a good heart.
Thanks for making me feel Like a human until the 19th. When you’ve gone through what I have.. you’ll understand how precious that was to me! You’re an amazing person and in another world, we’d be best friends.
By the time you see this, I’ll be dead. And at least I will have finally made my parent’s pleased!
Eternally sad Jay x x
Worst of all... I almost had a friend. A good friend. A sober clean friend to go out for a drink with with.
My new colleague D**. She loved me until that weekend. Then the communication stopped. Now her and B***** always go outside to slag me off. Every time I hit a target.
All last week when I was late due to my alarm not going off.
Why would they destroy a friendship with a sober friend, I don’t know,
She has a lovely soul.
I hate being psychic as you can smile to my face, but I know your lying.
One day after work, B**** said to D**, lets walk to the station. I asked if I could join them. And the whole journey B**** was suddenly engrossed in a phone call and walking 10 feet ahead.
When ever I get a fucking delivery to work.... even those in fucking amazon boxes, someone will say ‘Jay is that your drugs’ or ‘Jay is that your weed?’
I know my alarms won’t go off next week and I’ll be late for work each day. Which just means they’ll hate me even more, and I can fuck the chance of getting a reference and doing similar work, which I love.
I ain’t starting from the bottom again, serving coffee or cleaning toilets. I can’t even webcam coz they fucked my computer. So I’m straight to strip clubs / escorting when I leave and this stupid house still isn’t sold.
This will finally make my parents happy!! I’ll be a dirty prostitute, how better can I fill their description of being a dirty junkie than selling my body.
My career is over... the sad thing is... I loved my career.
But as this fucking house sale hasn’t gone through (I doubt the sale is congruent!), I still need to earn £1,500 a month. And as I can’t get a reference... and I can’t have a PC (coZ that means I could fix my hacked phone), so webcam work is out of the question, stripping and prostitution is my only option.
Unless the house sale magically goes through. Unless I can sort out my phone. Unless I can move somewhere I feel safe and get a PC... I don’t have many other options.
I really wanna do it tomorrow. I did wanna finish my rabbit hutch... but I don’t think I can take anymore.
I think I’ll be buying a large canister of helium tomorrow. I don’t think you’ll hear from me again.
If I can leave my house and not be stalked.
If my phone magically unhacks itself
Sad thing is, my sober friend who wanted to rent a room from me... has stopped contacting me.
She’s obviously heard the dirty junkie lies. If I was living with a sober freak, I could hardly get wasted daily could I?
Right now, I’m gonna sell all my valuables. Buy a new phone if necessary, and spend the rest on drugs, for the most amazing binge before I kill myself.
I can’t see shit changing.
I’ve smoked 0.3g (£20) of white on Friday (haven’t used all week) and I’ve been abused horrifically due to this... well I’m absurd regardless. Whether sober, withdrawing from drugs.. whatever.. I can’t win.
I fucked up my last job, fair enough. THEY Fucked up my current job. For reasons I’ll never comprehend.
D**, you’re a lovely girl. I’m sorry the bullshit which they’ve said about me has destroyed the chance of us ever having a relationship. I would have loved to be your friend. You’ve got such a good heart.
Thanks for making me feel Like a human until the 19th. When you’ve gone through what I have.. you’ll understand how precious that was to me! You’re an amazing person and in another world, we’d be best friends.
By the time you see this, I’ll be dead. And at least I will have finally made my parent’s pleased!
Eternally sad Jay x x
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