These are some very psychotic ramblings. I would write these when I knew my sick family were watching.
It was one of my means of true communication with them.
Due to their cruel, relentless behaviour, which had a strong focus on depriving me of any sleep, my writings became more and more bizarre. Certainly what one could describe as psychotic.
However, unlike most people with psychosis, the traumatic events causing this, were far from a fictional creation of my drug addled mind.
‘PSYCHOSIS
* Dad - found little cameras please remove all! (these did and still do exist)
* Mum - Don’t tell human mum! Two become one (frequently my mother would slip up disclosing information I had only told ‘psychosis’. Such as my ADHD not being a disability, which is incredibly two faced, as I’m pretty sure, as a Nursery Worker, she will have children with the disability and will emphasis and sympathise with the parents whose children have this condition. She has also slipped up recently when texting me about my drug use when texting me - there’s a whole post dedicated to this)
* Alone time in park - helicopter and being followed (around this time, I began to notice, that I was NEVER alone. While helicopters seem far fetched, as my father undoubtedly abuses his position in the metropolitan police, I find it too coincidental that should I be walking in wooded areas, there would always be a helicopter presence. This included a time where one hovered outside my house in clear view of my bedroom window, where I was camping out and when I tried to hide in a Council Estate in central London, only to hear one which continued to hover above the estate until my departure)
* Large number of grey / black / silver cars similar to dad’s, with similar alloys. Stop. Stupid (during this point my father would change his alloys on his car and using black electrical tape, change his car registration illegally when he was driving where I could see him. Cars similar to my father’s would appear where ever I was! At my home, at N’s and the day I handed my gear and works to them, due to their constant indirect threats to have me sectioned again... also illegal as I was perfecting sane, just a druggie, these similar cars where parked in every single drive down their street)
* Stop helicopter vehicles (for a while I would be constantly hearing low flying helicopters... well what I believed to be low flying helicopters. My ADHD means I have a Tourette’s like uncontrollable reaction to distraction, so I would turn and look. I soon realised these noises came from large MPV vehicles, with good sounds systems)
* Pick those who can act (this was before I realised the scale of what they had done. I believed a large number of select people were chosen to do the street theatrical situations in my life. Little did I know it was the whole of the fucking UK thanks to their article in the Sun)
* 280 Bus Route?? I have very strong memories of getting a 280 Bus all the way to the legal high shop, which was inbetween Tooting and Wandsworth. At some point this bus route changed. Due to all the other extraordinary things happening to me, I wondered if this was changed to make things more difficult for me... probably not in hindsight, but I definitely believed this to be true at the time.
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