❤️ Requiem For The Old Me - 2015

Here are some scribbles and lyrics I wrote back in 2015

Old J****

Sadly passed some time ago. She was kind, enjoyed nature and animals and although not religious, had a karma established life. She always endeavoured to live and let live.

‘Coz I really ain’t got shit else and that shit helps when I’m depressed.

I even got a tattoo with your name across my chest’

‘You could have rescued me from drowning. Now it’s too late, I’m on a thousand downers now I’m drowsy’

‘Some times I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds. 

It’s like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush to me’

‘All I wanted was support mum and dad.

Empathy about my ADHD makes me mad.

I want to stop using and want to be clean.

Without Concerta, my head’s like a pinball machine.

I wish I could swap, just one day, our brains.

So you can understand it’s relentless energy that drives me insane’

‘Danger. I’m bad.

Danger. I’m mad.

I can’t forgive

I’m the nightmare you created.

Danger.  I’m insane.

Danger. Fucked my brain.

Bye bye the old J

Jekyll and Hyde, stuck in crazy’

‘Danger. I’m bad.

Danger. I’m mad.

You dug your grave

No questions ‘bout how I behave’

Danger.  I’m insane.

Danger. Fucked my brain.

You damaged it

Say hi to the crazy bitch’

‘What happened to my stable loved ones?

Created a monster

Look at what you’ve done

Requiem for the old ‘G

Jekyll and Hyde, stuck in crazy’

‘I was already at the cliff’s steep edge

Only needed a nudge

And oh shit brain damaged’

‘Did I mention?

I’m AWOL from my psych and a section 

Told to count my blessings coz only a 2

28 day’s, locked up, yes it’s true’

‘I’ll make my demise

I’ll check the olanzapone

Till my suicide’

‘An now she’s gone

No coming back where she’s gone’

‘I beg and I plead 

Down on my knees

But still on big brother

My life has its own CCTV’

‘To add to my mass stalking, pics, lights and shit

Congruent no lies

Dogs, copters, flashing I’m petrified

No love no hugs

Lost iPad as you had it bugged’

‘Don’t have much left no more

Lost my T, you took my pad

My pain is raw’

‘So here’s the truth, got no reason to lie

Thought I knew you, but I’m wrong, shit Oh My

So many questions. Too much. Get high.

Main one, of course. I ask, why?’

‘Tough love. 

I’m a dove

Fit like a glove

But this bitch has had enough’

‘You’re wrong

I’m right.

Too exhausted to fight

I start to like

This crazy bitch, I bark and bite’

‘You’ve creates a monster.

I can’t remember 

The Ol’ H

Said bye December’

#Itsnotaboutthedrugs @Gemma_Stalked