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Friday, 5 January 2018

❤️ 21st September 2015 - Journal

Haven't reported much recently. I've had my redundancy money, so apart from paying £2,000 to my mum for house improvements, I can now state, I am debt free!!

Credit cards and loan all cleared.

I've also started dating N. Well we want to get married. We've always been like a married couple, so why not.

There's conditions though. Let's see if he sticks to them!!

My mum is completely against me marrying him. But I want to settle down and have a family and being married first is important to me.


My best mate fucked up. Had a night at her's and me and N asked for a £20 of coke. Bought two bags of this yellow speed of K***'s mate and I don't know what it was, but it weren't speed. Whilst using the speed, K****'s other half came and sorted us all a line of coke. 

Dealer came...Fucking stayed the night. Kept asking me and N what was wrong with us coz N is quiet.

We used the bathroom to use. Then S**** is asking us to leave. He came cash point and I gave him the £20 as although it was a big draw, I asked for a £20 and repetitively spoke of going cash point for the £20 I owed them.

Next day I had a message along the lines of this from S****

'You took the piss last night. You took the coke I sorted you, you took a £40 and paid a £20. You are out of order and took the fucking piss out of me and K***'

My calls were ignored and my messages not replied to.

Then on Facebook K*** posted on my page

'You're a fucking needle junkie, all you do is bang up and spend all your time with N’

Page! Not personal message.

I deleted it. Sent them all messages along the lines of I left £20 of speed. Asked for a £20. You could have asked for £40 at cash point. N always leaves weed, me my legal diazepams. Gave them 10, my kanna, subutex. I've never screwed them for money. Only the Wednesday before I treated K***.

They denied writing the post and blamed it on her friend. She's a hypocrite as she wants me to come over and bang them up as they can't.

We are talking again. I just reinstated to tell me if I owed them in future.

Rehab
Kinda on hold. Waiting for my ADHD appointment first.

Using
Been pinning coke much to my shame. Still smoking crack too. But it's definitely 50/50.

However no addict tracks!! 

Signing off 

J

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