How can I wait so long!
This also halts the process of going rehab. So I have to fight the urge of using legal speed to get high. It's the one drug I have no control over. The only one, once I start, stopping is not even imaginable.
Even crack and coke binges would only hit 3 to 4 days. The expense isn't the only factor. You get sick of being high. I never get sick of being high on ethylphenidate.
I'd happily bang up all day, take benzos to help the anxiety. Take a larger dose of benzos to knock myself out to sleep. Upon waking bang up some speed to rid myself of the dozy, comatosed, benzo hang over. Start again.
I'd just accept I'd need speed for as long as possible. I never planned on stopping.
I try not to take benzos now. But as benzos stay in your system so long (14 days or so) and heroin so little (3 days), it's tempting to use the latter to come down.
I also use my antipsychotics to come down. Unlike the two above, they have no effect on the miserable mood one is guaranteed on having.
My binge did have a positive repercussion though. It reinforced the need for rehab. Occasional using is ok. Binging is sick and horrible.
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