❤️ 06th February 2016 - Journal

I have begged and begged my family to be honest and come on admit the truth with me in the national press just like they told their lies. It is the only thing that will save our family now. 

But their lives are more important so I decided I have one last chance to fight this alone.

I have lost everything now even my family. All because their lives are more important than their daughter. As they are selling my house is punishment I have no choice but to do this because I need the compensation to buy some where new.

I already have a couple of solicitors interested and will keep trying more.

Like the X-Files the truth is out there.this is why all the photos I have of the cameras hidden in the lightbulbs are getting deleted because they're worried that I have evidence now for a solicitor

If I am successful I want to divorce my family and start a new life currently in the Caribbean. If I am not successful I don't even know what I have to live on for.

❤️ 30th September 2016 - Rehab Journal

Why am I writing this shit? I don't know. I'm fucking pissed. A) my Ritalin has worn off B) Kate has contacted me, still lying about giving me a date rape drug. She might be able to get her daughter back and she's shifting it about my threat with the Feds and the hair test. 

I don't belong here. I ain't been abused or lost my kids. I'm just a silly little rich girl who loves drugs. I will always be a junkie, I don't wanna change, just stop opiates.

I like my room mate. C likes Eminem too.

I don't reckon I'll sleep tonight.

Food is on par with Springfield.

It's shit and I want out. 

Can't wait to bang up when I'm out.

Fuck this 

❤️ 02nd October 2016 - Rehab Journal

Everyone here complains they are fat, but they eat so much. I felt power refusing cakes this evening. I wanna tell Rosa I vomited but I'm worried this is self harm and she can break confidentiality. 

 

I'll have to restrict tomorrow as I can't be sick everyday.  

 

Ended up binging! I am disgusting! 

 

* 2018 - To Add - just like in prison or detox, or any other institution, when a group of girls lose their appetite suppressors they get incredibly obsessive about their weight. I’d say easily 1/4 of us displayed eating disordered type thinking. However, without our magic substances, we all gained a lot of weight. I came home a good 10lbs heavier. Both me and R would use the bathroom and run the bath to cover the sound of vomiting. And not just us, as Sick was found when neither me or R was responsible.  

 

I managed to hide diet pills through 2 rooms searches and amnesty!

❤️ 05th October 2016 - Rehab Journal

Need to speak to R***, talking about trauma. Only trauma I've had is the sick things my parents have done to me. I can't bring it up. No one will believe me. 

Plus I haven't been traumatised like them. Just suicide and my overdose and my borderline eating disorder.  

 

I want to eat fish goujons but I can't have lunch and dinner. 

 

Might wash hair later so I can vomit. 

 

I thin the counsellors want me to be depressed and find something I can call traumatic in my life. 

 

I NEED my R***!! 

 

They're telling me I will be depressed when I'm not new! What the fuck!

❤️ 08th February 2016 - Orphan Jay

Well I'm officially an orphan. Will sign my beautiful forever home over to my parents and get the council to house me. I hope I don't have to lose my real family Orion, Fyver and Fluffy, but the last two are rabbits so doubt I can keep them. 

It makes me so sad. I have no friends who aren't on 'their' side either.

They are so ashamed of being discovered when I sleep they steal any evidence I find. They delete all the emails from lawyers willing to represent me before I can contact them. They read this blog so they know if I can't clear my name I'm gonna take a massive dose of pills and kill myself. 

Unlike every other parent in the world, their lie is more important than their child. I pray to God each night they'll be truthful and do a final article in the Sun telling the truth with me but my prayers are never answered.

I could cry myself to sleep every night. Why don't my mummy and daddy want me??

Clearly I'm the worst human to ever live. More worse than rose and Fred West. Myra Hindley's mother loved her more than mine does.

If I can get a Laywer on my unlawful section and get to stay in my home I'll have a reason to carry on. If I can get a Laywer and take my equity I'll carry on in another country. But they will never see me again.

Gonna sign off as I haven't slept properly got for 4 days so gonna sign off.

Will update you on the other evil things they have done.

Night night my beautiful world. Hope I'm not forced to leave you right now.

Love Jay 

I'm changing my name and divorcing them too if I do get a chance live